First off, our celebrity judge, Verdine White, who played "Wind" in Earth, Wind and Fire, bore an unfortunate resemblance to one of my favorite characters in Coming To America:
You may remember him as Joe the Policeman from the "What's Goin' Down?" episode of That's My Momma! Please welcome, Jackson Heights' own, Mr. Randy Watson! Sexual Chocolate!!!
Round of applause for my band, Sexual Chocolate, they play so nice, don't you agree?
With regards to the other competitors, I'm not quite sure who was worse tonight, Rickey Smith -- who has long outlasted his welcome -- or Josh Gracin -- who offends me by his still being on the show while many Marines in his unit are already in Kuwait and my cousin (Army Reserves) isover in Basra. And he can't sing, which makes it worse.
Goat Girl was the best I've seen her tonight. She found a good place to be.
Paula was absolutely right -- Kim Caldwell sings the same song every week -- loud, occasionally growly, always consistent, but she hasn't shown us anything new since her emotional "Come To My Window" over the closing credits after her semifinal elimination. Where did that Kimberly go, and where did Paula's insight come from?
Clay? Meh. Ruuuben? Lazy again. He's got all the charisma in the world, but he's not pushing his voice. They're coasting right now, but that's because both know there's a lot of crap that has to be discarded before the real competition starts.
Two gold stars this week. Lashundra is now channelling Whitney Houston so completely that not only does she sound like her, note for note, but she's also got the crack-whore appearance down, not to mention amassing her own criminal record of minor felonies.
And Kim Locke, that's two straight weeks where you've convinced me that I didn't just like you because you dueted with Frenchie.
(That's the same Frenchie, of course, whose elimination from the show was never acknowledged on television, let alone given a chance to explain herself or thank her fans. Holy double standards, boy wonder!)
Honestly, any of the four women could be the last one standing, but it's only a matter of time before Clay Train derails in the face of Mount Ruben in the end. Clay belongs on Broadway, singing Les Miz or the "La Resistance" number when South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut makes its trip to the Great White Way.
Ruben, however, is the star.
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