Thursday, May 22, 2003

A BLIP ON THE RADAR: Congratulations to Ruben Studdard for being named our new American Idol. Andy, I owe you dinner.

But Ruben's victory was meaningless in every sense of the word.

Both Ruben and Clay will be recording albums for 19 Entertainment. Both will have singles coming out next month on the same day. Both of their albums will be released on the same day. Both artists will be appearing on the same nationwide tour this summer.

So it didn't matter who was going to win last night -- both men had temporary success assured.

That the margin of victory was only 130,000 votes renders the results super-meaningless. They signify nothing. They're a statistical error.

And probably, I believe, evidence of manipulation.

The mostly likely reason for a vote that close is that the phone lines were set up in such a way to prevent every vote that viewers sought to cast from being recorded. The fewer lines available, the less the true strength of preference between the candidates is allowed to emerge.

Essentially, every possible voting "slot" for each performer was filled, and indeed, the message boards reported busy signals all over the place. So if there were a lot more Clay supporters than Ruben supporters, given power dialing and scrunched phone lines they'd never be able to demonstrate that preference.

Look: it's all for the best, in the end. Ruben's more likely to succeed as a pop performer, and Clay -- without the burden of being The American Idol is freer to find that place where he'll truly be happy.

Because as long as there's a Beauty and the Beast performance that's short one candlestick, Clay Aiken will never go hungry.

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