Thursday, July 3, 2003

DAILY EATERS WITHOUT THE GODS OF METABOLISM ON THEIR SIDE WILL LIKELY PULL A VIOLET BEAUREGARDE REAL QUICK: From the same people who gave an in-depth nutritional analysis of the Swanson All Day Breakfast, the unhealthiest breakfast ever, now comes a look-see at The McGriddle:
So, what is a McGriddle, exactly? Okay -- you know those "Big Breakfast" meals McDonald's sells, the ones that come with everything from sausage to pancakes to eggs and beyond? Well, a McGriddle is essentially a Big Breakfast packed into one Small Sandwich. The buns are literally drenched with maple syrup -- it's baked right into 'em. The rest of the offering plays out like any ol' McMuffin, but you'd be surprised to see just how far an upgraded, sugary bun can go in really pushing your intestinal track over the edge. McMuffins kinda just fuck with the system for a few minutes, but McGriddles? These things will make you explode outright. And I mean that in the most disgusting way you can take it.

You see, at least from my perspective, eating a McGriddle is a one time experience. Even if you're totally into it, there's going to be an inbuild voice of reason who insists that you can't put your intestinal track through this again. It's just too much . . . too much McDonald's in such a small package. I've got nothing against the chain on the whole - personally, I think the restaurants provide one of the last wholesome surefire fun nights for families, even if it makes all the children fat. But these McGriddles, I tell you...these McGriddles are too much!

Keep reading.

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