Wednesday, September 24, 2003

I'LL WATCH, BUT ONLY IF HE DOES THE WHOLE SHOW AS THE GAY GUY FROM 'SOAP': If you need further confirmation of the sorry state of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (motto: "easy on the arts, hold the science!"), please look no further than today's announcement that Billy Crystal has been tapped to host this year's show. Science has proven that Billy Crystal is about as funny as getting a spinal tap, thus making the relevant portion of the Funny List read as follows, in order:
Dat Phan
(tie) Billy Crystal
(tie) Getting a Spinal Tap
proofing numerical data in spreadsheets
Jay Leno

Seriously, the only credible reason I can imagine for going with Crystal is that Jon Stewart refused to let Bruce Vilanch sully his oevre.

Or, perhaps, this is just a conspiracy by the five Karl Malden clones who run the Academy.

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