Sunday, November 23, 2003

TODAY, I AM A MAN: Eighteen years ago today, I stood at the bimah, read from the Torah and became a Bar Mitzvah.

Last night, I passed another threshhold in my journey to adulthood: following an evening at the theater (and you all must see Urinetown, if given the opportunity), I got to Drive The Babysitter Home for the first time, while Jen stayed back with a sleeping Miss Lucy.

But before I could do that, Jen and I had to review the rules of the road. We agreed on a provisional list -- call it a Top Five, if you will -- of Things I Probably Shouldn't Say While Drive Home Our Fifteen Year-Old Babysitter:
5. "So, what are they teaching you girls in health class these days?"

4. "You know, when you're 28, I'll only be 44."

3. "Have you ever seen Exotica? I hear American Beauty is a great film too."

2. "I've been working out a lot lately. Can you tell?"

1. "Do you go to a school where they make you wear uniforms? [pause] Well, do you have any friends that do?"

Next developmental milestone: "Adam, have you considered doing anything about your hair color? We could phase it in gradually."

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