Wednesday, May 18, 2005

"IF HE'S RIGHT, I NEED NOT DIE A SLAVE": On this joyous day for the inner nerd in all of us, I offer you The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster, Lord Vader's weblog. It's quite good:
My name is Anakin Skywalker, and I am responsible for the death of my mother, because I broke our bond to pursue my ambition. I am responsible for the death of my wife, the mother of my child, the only woman strong enough and smart enough to win my faith. I am responsible for the death of Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi, who once tried to show me the real meaning of friendship and loyalty. And then there was Qui-gon Jinn who could have been like the father I never had, but Palpatine stole him from me.

Palpatine!

I think I have always hated him, channeling my jealousy at his power and dignity into a sick kind of devotion. I wanted him to love me, but he is not really a man with a heart -- whatever daemon rules him has its tonsils deep in the darkest layers of this galaxy.

I know now that my master, Darth Sidious the Emperor Palpatine, means to betray the Sith and subvert the prophecy. He means to replace me with my son as his prodigal servant. So armed he means to rule the stars himself, forever.

This job has a glass ceiling.

His resume notes that his current job responsibilities include "quelling armed uprisings, advancing Imperial weapons research, and improving internal efficiency through a regimented programme of strangulation."

[I would be remiss if I did not also point you towards The Lotion And The Basket, Jame Gumb's weblog.]

No comments:

Post a Comment