FROM THE ALOTT5MA MODERN LOVE AND SENIOR YEAR HOOK-UPS DESK: All that planning for tonight's date? Our Prospective Suitor has an update:
Well, the two of us managed to miscommunicate to a pretty serious degree. I thought the date was happening Thursday, because she had said "tomorrow" at 1:05 am Wednesday, whereas she REALLY meant Wednesday night. She called me five minutes before eight to let me know she was ready anytime, and I had to scramble just to get there 15 minutes late.
But, besides all that, it went pretty well. We had a wonderful conversation over dinner but the waiter, sensing we weren't going to run up a big drink tab, sort of hustled us out. I paid, and while she lightly protested it seemed more of a "I don't want to look like a jerk" formality. She didn't fight it beyond, "It's my treat, really."
She's on a sports team that requires her to get up at around 4:00 am, so we figured it best to just drop her off. I was priming myself for the "We should do this again" spiel, when she beat me to the punch and told me we should get together sometime next week (she's going home for Easter).
No real physical contact. I'm fairly shy about that stuff, but I figure I should work SOMETHING in the next go round. So, you know, not magical but certainly pleasant. And, given her expressed interest, things are looking good.
Also, I had a friend tell me that since I've handled the "nice date" now I have to figure out a "fun date", like mini-golf or kayaking something like that. Boston is a little big for a second date, and I'm saving "Come to my apartment and I'll cook for you" for date three or four.
I LOVE it! The miscommunication took a day off of being nervous and it sounds like it went great!!
ReplyDeleteLike the "fun date" - mini-golf or kayaking sounds perfect.
What about something hilariously kitschy like Skylite Rollerskating Rink? https://www.facebook.com/skyliterollerskating
ReplyDeleteThat might fit the bill and be deliciously offbeat.
Everyone always looks at me funny when I say this, but I like to go to bookstores with people early in the process of dating. You can walk around, there's plenty of stuff to talk about, and I always learn a lot more about people than I would at a regular old dinner. The fact that most big bookstores have a coffee shop helps too.
ReplyDeleteFun date is a good idea -- something like rollerskating might be less good if you're completely inept at roller skating (or conversely, too weirdly good at it, pulling off insane moves). Keep in mind a plan to transition to dinner, coffee and to keep the evening going without having to stand around in a parking lot or sidewalk looking up restaurant ideas on your smartphone. But don't also be too planned out and feel like you need to put this on a specific action plan with time frame or anything.
ReplyDeleteSee, I did guarantee you that you weren't going to take my advice. Well, if you missed "fun date" last time, do it this time. If neither mini-golfing or kayaking seems exciting, try mini-kayaking. And next time, kiss her, for crying out loud.
ReplyDeleteSO glad it went well! And yes, it's "fun date" time but heed Andrew's warning. My first time ice skating was on a fun date and I was terrible and was sort of too self concious about it, rather than ebing able to laugh it off. Mini-golf is a great idea...
ReplyDeleteBesides, then you can look for the triggers (god forbid) just in case.
ReplyDeleteIce skating (particularly outdoor ice skating) falls on my list of "things I swear I will never, ever, ever, do again." You want to generally avoid things that have the potential for falling down or serious bodily injury. Mini-gold does not offer that.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad she called you and spared you the pain of writing an update that said, "uh, you guys aren't going to believe this, but I accidentally stood her up." :)
ReplyDeleteI like bowling for a fun date idea. And as you are in the great state of Massachusetts, I'd imagine you have some candlepin lanes nearby, which is the vastly superior form of the game.
Love, love candlepin bowling, and it beats my suggestion of a firing range.
ReplyDeleteI find a firing range to be a perfect way to end a bad date.
ReplyDeleteGood job, anonymous correspondent!
ReplyDeleteSince she's on a team, is there an indoor climbing gym about? Something you can do side-by-side like that. Firing ranges are great, but I think the thing to do is guess something that you are at some comparable skill level (even rank novice) so it's a mutual adventure rather than risk either showing her up or making yourself look awkwardly incompetent.
And yes, next time just kiss the girl. If things are going well, it'll be great. If not, then you know where you stand.
ReplyDeleteAlso, to remind you, the tussling of hair -- something I never tried -- is frowned upon by the ALOTT5MA Commentariat and Management Alike.
Every date is 73% more fun when air hockey is involved.
ReplyDeleteSecond date, kiss her. My husband took forever to get to this and I thought I was seriously misreading the situation by the time he finally built up the courage to go for it.
I went to a Dave & Buster's on a first date, and that went well.
ReplyDeleteAre you people talking about duckpin bowling? I third that. Or mini-golf. Or Freedom Trail!
ReplyDeleteAir hockey is inspired. There are plenty of pool halls with air hockey tables in and around Boston in all kinds of convenient spots so you could shoot pool -and- see how quick she is to hit a puck in your direction. Or, if you've got cash to spend, a Sox game can be a very fun date.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I am going to assume you kissed the girl. No need to tell us about it afterward. In fact, I'm sure she would be creeped out if she found out later that you told a bunch of strangers on the Internet about kissing her, so DO NOT TELL US. In fact, no matter how naturally curious this bunch is, it is probably in your best interest not to tell us anything more.
ReplyDeleteI want to know. I feel like it's my right to know. I want to know all the sordid details of everything that happens from now up until and through the honeymoon. I thought that was the contract we made. I assume nothing.
ReplyDeleteAir Hockey is cool and it is one of the only things I can beat Jennifer at [at which I can beat Jennifer at], which is really cool because she gets so mad when I do, and that, after all, is love.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I want to know too, if only to help work up the courage myself!
ReplyDeleteChuck e cheese was a super awesome date at like 4pm on a weekday. Nice competitive enough to build camaraderie but too silly to make scary competitive.
ReplyDeleteAs for a "Fun date," there's a place in NYC (Fat Cat) that offers pool, ping pong, and Scrabble along with drinks, which is a pretty cool place to hang out.
ReplyDeleteI was at dinner with three female friends tonight (at David Chang's Ma Peche, which was quite excellent, though the steak was perhaps a bit overly fatty), and (unsurprisingly) much discussion revolved around their romantic lives--the following valuable lesson was imparted--"Don't make out with a girl and then not call/text her back when she contacts you."
Well was she dressed slutty or not? And if not, did you say so?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm glad it went fairly well. Here's another vote for candlepin bowling (which is NOT duckpin bowling; duckpin is half way between candlepin and ten pin).
No, it's candlepin bowling! Totally different!
ReplyDeleteColonial Bowl is delightfully retro and filled with Worcester's finest characters.
Can I just say - how cute are you? I'm really loving these updates, and I wish you all the luck in the world. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy who is this thoughtful and articulate.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to know but I DO want to know. Give us a code word!
ReplyDeleteSlick - I was in the same boat. My now-husband didn't kiss me until something like the third date. I was starting to think we were going in a "we're just friends" direction for a moment there.
ReplyDeleteWAIT! have you called her again??
ReplyDeleteI should also share that one of my companions said she wanted to go see "Thor," and the character of Thor had to be explained to her by one of the other females using (naturally) reference to "Adventures in Babysitting."
ReplyDeleteYes to "fun date" for date 2. Mini-golf or Dave & Busters are good ideas - Chuck E Cheese can be super fun but if you end up at the wrong one and you're surrounded by screaming kids it might be a disaster (also, some Chuck E Cheeses no longer let anyone in who doesn't come with a kid in tow in an attempt to ward off kidnappers, etc - creepy, right?). Hooray for these updates (but I agree with Isaac - we don't need ALL the dirt...).
ReplyDeleteLiftoff.
ReplyDeleteOt you could substitute baseball diamond bases for intimate physical acts. We can figure it out with the help of the little light in the car.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I was the guest with the suggested codeword.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Jillian's for the adult version of Chuck E Cheese without the screaming kid risk? It used to be fun back when I lived in the area years ago, but maybe it's gotten dorky? But if not, it might be fun.
ReplyDelete