FOR A DOLLAR?  I'd say this new Burger King ad ripping off Billy Eichner's shtick gets 0.9 Coultons on the Yeah, That's Totally A Ripoff scale.

IT'S EITHER THAT OR WE TALK ABOUT THE GENOCIDES IN WHICH WE ARE COMPLICIT:  It's Columbus Day: tell us about something you've discovered recently, even if someone else actually found it first.

[I've finally started watching Gilmore Girls with Lucy.  Fun stuff.  Yes, that's right: I've never seen it before.]

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!  Boom Clap or Boom Boom Clap (Boom De Clap De Clap)?  (Disqualified:  Boom Boom Pow and Bang! Pow! Boom!)

MR. VICE PRESIDENT, YOU STILL HAVE A MINUTE-TWENTY: There is nothing but sadness to convey upon hearing the news that Jan Hooks has passed away from a long illness at age 57. She was, as Alan Sepinwall properly notes, one of the best "glue" performers on the show, lacking breakout characters herself but ridiculously versatile as a straight man, celebrity-of-the-week, or whatever else was needed. Watch her against Jon Lovitz's Devil on "The People's Court" -- her delivery "I am a barfly" is just perfect. Or, gosh, her Sinead O'Connor versus Hartman's Sinatra, Bette Davis' video will, any many more.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE: The 2015 ballot for the Non-Country Popular Music of the 1950s and Beyond Hall of Fame includes five first-time nominees: Green Day, Nine Inch Nails, the Smiths, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Bill Withers, and Sting, the first two in their rookie year of eligibility. (First albums: 1989.)

Joining them on the ballot are returning nominees N.W.A., Lou Reed, the Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Kraftwerk, Chic, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, the Marvelettes, the Spinners, War, and Bill Withers.

[Among the excluded: The Cure, New Order, Sonic Youth, Warren Zevon, Bon Jovi, anything metal or prog, and every woman who played post-WWII non-country popular music not named Joan Jett or in Chic, such as, um, Janet Jackson (if you're nasty), who has never been on the ballot despite being eligible since 2007.]

Do we have a Doodle ballot?  Of course.  

[My tentative ballot: NIN, SRV, NWA, Lou Reed, Kraftwerk. On the fence on Sting and the Smiths.]

HEY, HEY WHAT CAN I SAY?:  This attempt by SPIN to rank every single Led Zeppelin song is worth a gander -- it's not a slideshow.  First, it's largely right: Over the Hills and Far Away is indeed their best song and most of the stuff on Presence -- an album I'm sure I never listed to straight through -- is way down the list.   I quibble about ever separating Heartbreaker from Livin' Lovin' Maid -- two songs that are as inseparable as Pink Floyd's Brain Damage and Eclipse from Dark Side of the Moon.

The only misplaced one is Your Time is Gonna Come which readily ranks among the Top Ten -- and I don't think that's even nostalgia from a really great date, the memory of which is fused with a trip to the Laserium at the Morrison Planetarium in 1988.

IT'S NOT, BUT IT CAN BE:  Your choice - watch the trailer for the final (you promise?) season of The Newsroom, or the epically superior Funny or Die take on the show.