Wednesday, February 10, 2010
THEY'RE GONNA DO IT ...: Laverne & Shirley, The Movie? Sure. Starring Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner, however? Um, I'd rather not. What about Leslie Mann and Rachel Dratch? (Okay, neither can open a movie. Amy Adams as Shirley Feeney?) Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black are Lenny and Squiggy?
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Biehl and Garner are not bad choices, if you absolutely have to do this (obviously, you don't). Biehl can supply Laverne's va-voom, and Garner does pinched pretty well.
ReplyDeleteMaybe to Garner (I just like her) but no to Biehl. Though off the top of my head I can't think of better options. Of course, that doesn't mean there aren't any.
ReplyDeleteMichael Showalter and Michael Ian Black would absolutely be awesome as Lenny & Squiggy.
I don't normally think of Biel as providing va va voom. Indeed, among sexpot performers named Jessica, she's probably the third va-va-voomiest, behind Simpson and Alba. And did you see that they're already developing a quasi-sequel to Valentine's Day called New Year's Eve? Really?
ReplyDeleteAlba is a beautiful woman, no doubt about it, but she has nothing that could be called va-voom. Va-voom is Jessica Rabbit, with the hourglass figure and the slightly menacing sexiness. Everything about Alba is tiny. And Simpson is way too passive to have real va-voom. In terms of peak sexiness I'd call it a dead heat between the two brunettes with Simpson a DNF, but in terms of va-voom, it's Biehl by a country mile.
ReplyDeleteThat aside, Laverne basically had three qualities: (1) va-voom, which the show more told us about than showed us; (2) an appealingly vulgar (in its ordinary sense) taste, with the "L" sweaters and the milk-and-pepsi and the accent; and (3) a just-one-of-the-guys attitude. I think Biehl has (1) (though we disagree), and she's at least done (3) before (in Chuck and Larry, for example). Don't know how she'd do with (2).
So...*tries to remember watching L&S as a kid*...Penny Marshall was considered hot?
ReplyDeleteOf course, now I'll have the theme song in my head for the rest of the day.
How about Christina Hendricks as Laverne? She currrently controls approximately 25% of world Va-Va-Voom reserves.
ReplyDeleteNo, she wasn't hot, but that was because she was miscast. She was supposed to be tight-sweater-loose-woman hot, at least as originally conceived. Or maybe not hot, but just tight-sweater-loose-woman available. Anyway, she was miscast.
ReplyDeleteHendricks meets the va-voom standard but fails the just-one-of-the-guys standard, and I don't want to see her meet the vulgar-tastes standard. Also, this is going to be a bad movie, so let's not go around tarnishing her career just to cast the role.
I believe you skipped the words "by her brother" after typing "miscast". How about Cameron Diaz in her SNL-Cougar mode?
ReplyDeleteI always, always forget that he's her brother and not her dad.
ReplyDeleteThis is an atrocious idea...casting aside. I'm so sick of these kinds of movies.
ReplyDeleteJennifer J., I have to agree with you, though Christina Hendricks as Laverne is the only thing that might save this idea.
ReplyDeleteJennifer J., you wrote my comment for me. EPIC FAIL.
ReplyDeleteI thought of her too, but the problem is that she just can't act. I think they should just forget the whole idea and put re-runs of the show back on the air. I wouldn't mind seeing some of those episodes again.
ReplyDeleteI should probably specify that I'm referring to Diaz, not Hendricks.
ReplyDelete<span>I should probably clarify that I'm referring to Diaz, not Hendricks.</span>
ReplyDeleteShe controls at least more than that. She is amazing! (And was on an ep of cold case I ran across while doing sewing at home the other night).
ReplyDeleteDiaz is bad dramatic actor but does pretty well with the comic timing and the comic physicality and her and Garner could be a good team.
ReplyDeleteActually, though she's gotten few opportunities to show it off, Diaz can be a decent dramatic actress, but the "goofy, pretty tomboy" thing is right in her wheelhouse.
ReplyDeleteVulgar, can be hot, is funny? Missi Pyle.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen The Holiday? I think she learned her lines phonetically, like the Scorpions.
ReplyDelete