Monday, October 25, 2010

AS BEYONCE SANG, IF YOU LIKE IT ...  While it didn't receive a ton of comments, my recent post about "Adam's penis" didn't generate any negative feedback either.  So, I wondered, does that mean I finally can cross the "diamond-encrusted cock-rings" threshold in a subsequent post?  I asked at the ALOTT5MA Standards & Practices Desk, and none of my co-bloggers expressed any problem with my blogging about "diamond-encrusted cock-rings," which is good because that means we can talk about what Eminem gifted Elton John and David Furnish with to celebrate their union, because you'll never guess in a million years what it was.

For more on cock rings, see this Mr. Show featured video.

N.B. The ALOTT5MA Style Guide, 5th Edition does not note any preference between "cock ring," "cock-ring" and "cockring".


  1. Seems like that's not a place where diamonds would be particular warranted or helpful.

    Put me in the "cock ring" as two separate non-hyphenated words, camp, as far as the style guide goes.

    While wandering around Vegas last week, wandered into Kiki De Montparnasse with a friend, the woman working there assumed we were a couple and was obscenely helpful and informative regarding all their wares.

    Nothing in the shop was diamond encrusted, but some of the stainless steel and pyrex offerings were impressive from a decorative and artistic standpoint.

  2. bill.9:14 PM

    Hyphenating is typically the adjectival form.

  3. Meghan9:19 PM

    I hate when people go off the registry.  I mean, if they didn't register for diamond-encrusted cock rings, they probably already have them, you know?  And now they have to go through the hassle of a return without a receipt.  

  4. Midwest Andrew9:25 PM

    Where does one even find a place that sells diamond-encrusted cock ring? On second thought, I'd rather not know.

    And bill is correct on the hyphenating/two words issue.

  5. heather k9:30 PM

    I find it strange that this was information I already knew.

  6. Dan Suitor9:32 PM

    Miss Manners suggests cock rings as more of a 10th anniversary gifts and advises making sure that the recipients don't have any allergies to precious metals.

  7. As a copy editor, I love you all (says the prude, steadfastly avoiding the subject of this post).

  8. Okay, I want to go back to the pyrex thing: why would you need a cock ring to be oven safe?

  9. bill.9:16 AM

    hmm, can't use the microwave for sterilization.

  10. Watts9:54 AM

    "Cockring" looks too much like a gerund; makes me wonder what it means "to cockre."

  11. Marsha10:24 AM

    My first - and last - thought was simply, "Ouch."

  12. During the entire presentation, no cock rings were shown. Not sure why she left those out, maybe I didn't strike her as the cock ring wearing type (should I be offended, or pleased by that ommission?).

    The pyrex objects were from their dilettos collection, and she emphasized that they were dishwasher safe, and could be heated or cooled, and retained heat or cold well.

    Digging around the shop's (tasteful) website, notice they do have a variety of cock rings for sale, including ones that go for $1225 each, made of silver. Not sure if that's a werewolf/vampire thing for the True Blood/Twilight crowd, or just absurdly ostentatious.

    The only thing I was tempted to buy was the jelly bath, which sounded intriguing (turns water into a jello like consistency, can be dissolved with salt, and plumbing safe, also, after poking around Amazon, seems like the exact same chemicals are marketed as a kiddy bathtime thing for about a third of the price).

    And this ends today's episode of Commenter TMI Theatre.

  13. Jenn.4:52 PM

    Edit:  Replace "you all" with "y'all."

  14. In high school Latin and French, the second person plural form was explicated as the "y'all" form.

  15. isaac_spaceman mobile6:40 PM

    Since I didn't know who (what) Kiki de Montparnasse is, I read your comment as saying you were wandering around Vegas, and you happened to bump into a friend of yours, who was hanging out with a woman named Kiki de Montparnasse at the time.  And then some misinformed saleswoman, assuming that you were Kiki de Montparnasse's boyfriend, suddenly started showing you a bunch of sex toys.  Which was, to be sure, something of a sudden left turn in my reading of the comment. 

  16. isaac_spaceman mobile6:41 PM

    As in, "today feels kind of like a cock-ring day!" or "look out -- here comes ol' cock-ring Pete!" 

  17. bella wilfer7:38 PM

    Title of this post FTW.

    (however, I also enjoy how a post ostensibly about junk jewelry (pun intended) became a conversation about grammar.)

  18. Maybe I could have been clearer that KikiDM is a high-end lingerie shop with locations in the Crystals shopping center in Vegas, on Melrose in Los Angeles and SoHo in NYC.

    The narrative of Mr. Spaceman Mobile's misunderstanding makes for some good reading, too, so three cheers for sentences with vaguely defined relationships between subject and object.

  19. Wouldn't the adjective be cock-ringed?