NOTES ON A PARADE: If you were a visitor from outer space, and if you chanced upon our fair planet in your travels, and if your landing party picked July 4 to touch down, and if you happened upon a small town with a parade at the moment of your landing, you might think: what a savage race is this, which sends its youngest children into pitched battle over trinkets and unhealthy morsels thrown from monstrous motorized death machines, and whose bravest young demonstrate their mettle by snatching the booty from underneath the death machines, only to leap away from the wheels at the last possible moment.
In other words: if you are the adult with the task of guarding the rear float wheels, July 4 is a harrowing day.
In honor of the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Cape Cod National Seashore, yesterday's Wellfleet parade included a guy in a JFK mask and a float with a 70-ish woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe coming out of a birthday cake.
ReplyDeleteAlso, giant oysters which squired water on the crowd, and a lot of protesting about the use of herbicide by the utility company.
In Orinda, there was an unsanctioned attempt to get people to stop throwing candy but instead to hand it out. This caused the worst of all possible worlds since some folks were trying to follow this guideline by handing candy out directly from the vehicles and floats rather than -- what I assume the intent -- having people walking along with the floats handing out candy. This had kids getting far closer to the wheels than they did last year.
ReplyDeleteI mostly don't care what the rules are, I just want the rules to be well-established so I can adjust what I'm protecting my kids from.
Mostly harmless.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, would it kill Wikipedia to have a landing page for "Earth" that says "Mostly Harmless"?
ReplyDelete