Monday, April 23, 2012

BARBARIANS AT THE GATES: Don't have much time today, so I'll just say "leave it to the Lannisters to behave in a way that makes it look like Tywin is in the good half of the family." MIA: Theon/Balon/Yara, Bran, Cersei, Jon & the Rangers. Episodes since Rickon Stark sighting: 3?


  1. Jordan12:10 PM

    GoT is a dark show, and this was as dark an episode as they go (looking your way rat bucket), but it had a surprising amount of humor.  It opens on a fart joke, we got the usual Tyron & Bronn show, and Renly got off maybe the funniest line the series has ever done (or as close as I can remember it):

    Crazy Fire Witch: You should bow before your brother, he is the chosen one, born of salt and smoke.
    Renly: Born of salt and smoke?  Is he a ham?

  2. isaac_spaceman12:25 PM

    That's from the books.  Though I think Tyrion is routinely funnier.  "Bronn, if Ser Meryn speaks again, kill him.  [beat]  That is a threat." 

  3. Agree on both being funny, but I thought Bronn had the line of the night:  "There's no cure for being a cunt."

  4. Jordan12:56 PM

    I agree that Tyrion is the funnier character.  Maybe it's just that I expect it from him and not Renly.  But that was the first time I found myself laughing out loud to the show.

  5. Duvall3:09 PM

    Lannister Loathsomeness Listing, from least to most (show only): 

    1. Tommen
    2. Myrcella
    3. Tyrion
    4. "Alton"
    5. Lancel
    6. Jamie
    7. Cersei
    8. Kevan
    9. Tywin
    10. Joffrey

    Tywin's got a lot of work to do to get into the top half.

  6. isaac_spaceman4:32 PM

    For this episode, though, it would go 1. Tyrion.  2. Tywin.  3. Lancel.  4.  Joffrey.  NA: Tommen, Myrcella, Alton, Jamie, Cersei, Kevan. 

    For all episodes strictly <span>up to this point in the show</span>, and taking both the good and the bad, I think it should go:

    1.  Tyrion (the only one to show adult compassion, maturity and intelligence)
    2.  Alton (if I remember right, he's the messenger; didn't do anything)
    3(t) Tommen & Myrcella (just kids, but were jerks to Sansa about her dad and brother)
    5.  Kevan (what did he do?  just being on one side in the war isn't bad enough; can't remember anything else)

    Large gap

    6.  Lancel (helped murder Robert; sleeping with cousin; mean to Tyrion; petulant and entitled)
    7.  Cersei (incest; helped murder Robert, also petulant and entitled, but more incompetent than tyrannical)
    8.  Jaime (incest; actually murdered king he was sworn to protect)
    9.  Tywin (only because of the way he treated Tyrion and people around Tyrion)
    10.  Joffrey

  7. Duvall5:16 PM

    Kevan Lannister is one of the chief lieutenants of a military campaign that has relied heavily upon mass murder, rape and torture.  If the Lannisters were put before a war crimes tribunal, Kevan would probably be hanged alongside Tywin.

  8. isaac_spaceman5:52 PM

    I don't think the show as depicted Kevan as having any role in that strategy.  not that it has depicted him as not having that strategy, but still. 

  9. spacewoman6:42 PM

    Who the hell is Kevan? I cannot keep these people straight.

  10. Slowlylu6:46 PM

    *Post contains spoilers up to and including Book 5*
    It is interesting though that the Kevan in the Dance of Dragons book is far more sympathetic than I remember. Though perhaps it is because he is murdered after managing a reconciliation which was long overdue. 

  11. The Pathetic Earthling6:47 PM

    I just want to say if I'm going to be a bagman to deliver my boss' mistress to a cave so she can spawn a shadowdemonbaby to go and do you know what to you know who and I'm told by my boss that I can't even bring this shit up to him later, when I make a passing reference to the fact that my boss already cut off my fingers for saving his sorry ass, I don't want my grammar corrected.  Even if my boss is right.

    No.  Especially if he's right.

  12. Duvall6:58 PM

    Kevan is Tywin's brother, Lancel's father and Tyrion's uncle.  We saw him in season 1 when Tyrion arrived at Tywin's camp. 

  13. Slowlylu7:13 PM

    So true - it reminded me so much of Stringer Bell.

  14. Emily7:39 PM

    All I could think of during that scene was if Stannis cut off Davos's fingers for being a smuggler, what should Davos get to cut off of Stannis for impregnating Melissandra with a demon/dementor/smoke monster? (Dementor/Smoke Monster credit goes to Nina at Vulture:

  15. Emily7:42 PM

    I think that even if we consider Kevan's actions up through Book 5, he isn't anywhere near Tywin and Joffrey on the scale of Lannister-bad.

  16. isaac_spaceman7:46 PM

    I'm kind of with Stannis there -- everybody could stand to learn the difference between few and less.  Stannis, remember, is an inveterate editor.  He's a dick, but he takes pride in the Common Tongue. 

  17. spacewoman11:35 PM


  18. bristlesage2:05 PM

    Yeah, my thought was that at that moment, I was about ready to call my banners for Stannis.  "You shall take our lives, but you shall never take our grammar!"