BLOOD ON THE RUNWAY: I've missed at least the past five cycles, but, really, can you have an America's Next Top Model
after firing noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker and runway diva coach extraordinaire Miss J. Alexander? (Okay, no one's going to miss Jay Manuel, also axed.)
Honestly, I only watch the show in marathon form...preferably when I am doing something else so I can pause lots and fast forward through the commercials and boring places.
ReplyDeleteThe real problem with the show is that it's not hard to break into modeling if you live in/near a city and you have the dimentions (size 2-4, over 5'9" and under 6'0" and pretty) and can walk without looking like an elephant. So what you end up with on these shows are girls who aren't "pretty", or who are too short/tall/fat/thin, or who can't walk and the show has to turn them into models. These women are also ALL too old. If you haven't "made it" by 20 you are over the hill.
If one of the women on the show had turned into a "top model" early on (say, first 5 seasons) then the show might have some cashe, but they didn't. They may have had careers, but they are not "top models". So who cares.
And the judges should have always rotated. These people may have been well respected a long time ago but I doubt highly that Nigel Barker is a hot ticket in the photography world anymore.
I finally managed to quit ANTM after the insanity of the "All Star" season. (I think "Pot Ledom is Top Model spelled backwards" is where I really lost it.) For several seasons, it was fun to make fun of all the elements that made this show wacky, from the contestants that could never be models to the horndogginess of Nigel Barker to the prissy ego of Jay Manuel. Without her cast of crazy, Tyra's brand of craziness alone won't be enough.
ReplyDeleteOh, sure, Tyra, you can cure Asperger's and homelessness and Katrina-displacement and degenerative blindness, BUT YOU CANNOT CURE JOBLESSNESS for your own employees.
ReplyDeleteAlso, since Day 1 of this show, Nigel Barker has been one of only three people in the entire enterprise (along with Paulina and Twiggy) not to have given off even a hint of batshit-crazy. Remember when Tyra had that model pose in giant puffy lobster claws? Remember when every trip to ___ was introduced as a rap-themed episode of Oprah's Favorite Things? Of Jay Manuel, ask yourself if you would be surprised to see him out in public wearing a skin-tight shirt covered from collar to hem with a silk-screen print of his own naked chest. If you say "yes," I sentence you to be photographed wearing a beard of live bees while smizing.
Tyra is overestimating her own ability to maintain an audience's interest.
ReplyDeleteAlso? Nigel was hot.
I'm a little embarassed to admit that the season 2 rap (the one that starts with "I'm 34C with no silly-c/take a feel and you will see") still worms its way into my brain at odd times.
ReplyDeleteDid they ever bring back the twirling brothers? And has anyone seen Shandi or her screeching now-ex-boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteExcept, oddly, when he had hair.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends used to live with Shandi. She's doing the LES dj/hipster thing and is generally perceived to be a pretty cool girl who has the misfortune of occasionally have people scream, "OHMYGOD you're SHANDIShandi!" at her.
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