Wednesday, January 30, 2013

IT'S AFTER SIX. WHAT AM I, A FARMER?  Favorite 30 Rock lines. Go!


  1. Adam B.7:51 AM

    I only want to claim one more for now:

    "A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show."

  2. Anonymous8:37 AM

    Live every week like it's shark week


  3. "In 5 years, we'll all be either working for him or dead by his hand."

    "Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off-putting."

    "I guess that's why I'm still single."

  4. Liz: "BORPOH!"

    Liz: "I want to go to there!"

    Tracy: "I'm laughing and whizzing! I'm Lizzing!"

    Tracy: "I AM A JEDI!"

  5. "It's not a Lemon party without Old Dick!"

  6. “Superman does good; you’re doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.”

    "Aren't you the man who told me to live every week like it's shark week? And that nothing's impossible except dinosaurs? Don't give up on life, sir."

    “You walk briskly in a pilot’s uniform, you can go pretty much anywhere. I’ve been upstairs in the White House while the Obamas were sleeping.”

    "If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland."

    "We all went in with certain expectations, the evening took a nasty left turn. Now we must face certain facts in the cold light of day."

  7. InertiaGirl10:03 AM

    It's possible I loved this exchange between Jack and Liz so much because I was in graduate school at the time. I suspect much of it has to do with their delivery, but nevertheless, one of my favorite 30 Rock quotes:

    Jack: “We may not be the best people.”

    Liz: “But we’re not the worst.”

    Both, in unison: “Graduate students are the worst.”

  8. Two+ hours in and no one suggested:

    Tracy: "I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant."

    I'm surprised....

  9. christy in nyc10:15 AM


  10. What is your contingency plan for a crap storm of this magnitude?

    [pop pop]

  11. My favorite is the title of this post. So I'll add another classic...


  12. You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling, end of list.

    You can't give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires
    attacked Woodstocks?

  13. Never go with a hippie to a second location

    If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls

  14. Song lyrics!
    "I dreamed a dream in time gone by..." Kathy Geiss
    "Werewolf bar mitzvah / Spooky, scary / Boys becoming men / Men becoming wolves." Tracy Jordan
    "A synonym's just another word for the one you want to use." Jenna as Jackie Jormp-Jomp
    "Workin' on my night cheese..." Liz Lemon

  15. That really is the best one.

  16. Joseph Finn12:21 PM

    Liz:l don't think that's what this is. Floyd is pretty great. Look, in Cleveland, l'm a model.

    Jenna: Yeah, we're all models west of the Allegheny.

  17. "I'm going to assume that's a Haldeman reference, and I'll take that as a compliment."

  18. Marsha12:47 PM

    "Never go with a hippie" was mine. Really, everything out of Carrie Fischer's mouth in that episode is gold.

  19. Marsha1:01 PM

    Tracy: I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.

    Tracy: I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it. I believe that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet. Wait... what was the question?

    Jack: Where do you invest your money, Lemon?
    Liz: I've got, like, twelve grand in checking.
    Jack: Are you an immigrant?

    Jenna: We're actors. If we didn't exist how would people know who to vote for?

    And really, this whole speech, but especially:
    Jack: "I may be just an ignorant black man you paid to bust up your chifforobe, but that doesn't give you the right to call me ridiculous just for saying that I'm proud of my son!"

  20. Marsha1:03 PM

    And this one I had to look up, because all I can remember verbatim is the part about Wendy's:

    Tracy: I've seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it! I've seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor - generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo... they were very drunk.

  21. Marsha2:33 PM

    Slightly off-topic - Epicurious has put together a suggested menu for watching the finale: It's cute.

  22. bristlesage3:38 PM

    This might be the place where I first saw it, so sorry about that if so, but hey, this feels like the right time to link to the Liz Lemon soundboard.

    And The A.V. Club post about the coming-tomorrow 30 Rock ice cream; some very fun comments here.

    And the advice I take most often is to "Live every week like it's Shark Week!"

    Also great, the terrifying and perfectly-delivered-by-Parnell, "When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman's mouth?"

    OH! The monologue where Liz confesses all her weird stuff to Floyd after she sits in on his AA meeting: " I'm really sorry about what I did. And I know you can't forgive me
    but just to even things out, here is all my weird secret stuff. I have
    been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown
    college. I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because
    when I was a kid, my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the
    sound of her and my dad fighting. Which is why I rarely vacuum my
    apartment. Like, never. I have had three doughnuts so far today. Once in
    college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a country steaks all you can
    eat buffet and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of
    shrimp. A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin. Wow, I am a
    mess. There is an 80% chance that in the next election I will tell all
    my friends that I'm voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for
    John McCain. Here's one: when I was a kid, I used to put on my fanciest
    nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a
    champagne glass and I would sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat.
    Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from
    The Love Boat. And I lied. I have had five doughnuts today."

    I will now finish this too-long comment by linking to the Liz Lemon Epic Eyeroll from a few episodes ago.

  23. Randy5:56 PM

    Joe Reid reminds me of Elisa's "Lemon, isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?"

  24. Related, from Vulture, the Jack Donaghy Insult Generator:

  25. Oh god, the party where Liz hooked up with Griz! I forgot that!

  26. Liz Lemon enters a crowded subway car. As the doors close, the subway conductor over the speaker: "This train will be going express for no reason."

    Maybe you have to be a NYC subway rider to find this hysterical, but I laugh just thinking about it.