Monday, January 14, 2013
SLOW MOTION JEDI: It's not Episode VII, but allegedly, Zack Snyder (300, Man of Steel, Watchmen, The Owls of Ga'Hoole) is going to work on a movie set in the Star Wars universe, which'll be a take on The Seven Samurai, only with Jedi. Not clear about when this will release or how it fits into the Star Wars timeline (it makes a whole lot more sense as an "Old Republic" movie than after Return of the Jedi, but who knows?). Excited? Scared? Excited and scared?
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The Seven Samurai was my father's favorite movie, and it holds a privileged place in my heart. While, in the abstract, a sci-fi movie somewhat inspired by the Seven Samurai might pique my interest, I despair of what that movie would become if associated with (a) the Star Wars universe, with its inclination toward cutesy pre-adolescent palatability and its almost gravitational commerciality and its thick odor of desperation; and (b) the humorless, wooden direction of Snyder.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to quit my day job and start working on an update of Office Space set in the Star Wars universe. And then, when that's done, I'll do an update of Caddyshack, but set in the Star Wars universe. Probably The Godfather movies next (just I and II), and maybe Pulp Fiction after that. I'll finish off with a version of Joseph Campbell's books set in the Star Wars universe. How's that for a paradox?
ReplyDeleteIndifferent unless it comes out really good. Snyder hasn't made an especially good movie yet so I'm not going to hold my breath. (Watchmen was closest, 300 is laughable and Sucker Punch is just a disaster.)
ReplyDeleteA Star Wars movie based on Seven Samurai? Didn't George Lucas do that in 1977?
ReplyDeleteI predict it'll be a very stylish, lavishly shot wisp of a movie with the barest pretense at a plotline and one really stellar scene. Basically, it'll be this generation's George Lucas. Which, whatever. Oh, and there will probably be lots of torso, of both the man and lady varieties. Again, whatever. Zack Snyder keeps making the same movie with different color palettes, though I admit I never sat through the owl movie.
ReplyDeleteHIdden Fortress, actually. But yes, that was my first thought. Although I suppose if you're going to steal, steal from Kurosawa.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot 'Sucker Punch'. How could you forget 'Sucker Punch'?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, how?
I've been trying ever since I walked out of the theater, but remnants of it are still stuck in my head like those little corners of super dried probably-dog-shit that stay in the deep tread of a hiking boot until you attack them with a scrub brush and rubbing alcohol like a OCD mysophobe or drop them casually into the back seat of a tidy friend's recently-detailed car.
Were there a lot of torsos in the owl movie? I didn't see it either.
ReplyDeleteIt couldn't be much worse than
ReplyDeleteBattle Beyond The Stars isn't half bad. You want Starcrash for the truly awful.
ReplyDeleteBased on lack of response, I am backing off my original plans. I am now planning a version of "This is 40," set in the Star Wars universe. Except this is going to be "This is 400," because the protagonist is a ... whatever Yoda is.
ReplyDeleteThere's already an Office Space set in the Star Wars universe. Sort of:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/space-janitors/5406-Episode-One
Galaxina!
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galaxina
Indeed, those are some awesomely bad pictures, but are they based on Seven Samurai? I was trying to work within the confines laid out by Mr. Spaceman.
ReplyDelete