Friday, September 27, 2013

THIS CAN'T ALL BE FOR NOTHING:  Linda Holmes would like you to claim your cockamamie theory for how Breaking Bad will end, and we encourage you to do so here, there, or anywhere Stevia is available.

9 comments:

  1. Joseph Finn2:31 PM

    Walt takes out the Gray Matter folks with the ricin and in the midst of the manhunt for him heads for the neo-Nazi compound where in the chaos and the carnage he accidentally kills Jesse. Transfixed in his grief and final shame, he's shot and the shooter is revealed to be the one angel of vengeance against him...Marie Schrader.

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  2. That is so feasible I wish I hadn't read it.

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  3. Walt, after killing Lydia with the ricin, engages in a firefight with the Nazis in an attempt to retrieve his monies. In the confusion, Jesse escapes into the New Mexico desert, but only after killing dead eyed Todd by smashing his head in with a brick. Meanwhile, Huell, tired of waiting, escapes the motel room and steals a car. By chance, Huell accidentally runs over Jesse hitchhiking near Albuquerque. Huell gets out to see if he's okay, and notices that he has a bag containing several million dollars. He throws it in the back of the car and rides off into the sunset.

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  4. Gareth3:54 PM

    I've never actually watched Breaking Bad. But nevertheless, I predict that Skyler will burn all the money, in front of Walter.

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  5. I don't have a full-fledged theory, but I have some specific predictions: (1) Jesse uses the poison gas trick from the pilot on Todd and/or Jack and/or other Nazis. (2) The cold open is a flashback involving Gretchen and Walt and Gray Matter. (3) RIP, Holly.

    More broadly I think the M60 is for the Nazis - Walt really wants his money -- and that the ricin is for himself, though he probably won't get to use it that way. I agree that one of the Lambert women is likely to kill Walt, and I agree that the money needs to go up in flames. I am sure there will be a big emotional confrontation between Walt and Jesse, but I don't know how it ends. (Unlike many other shows this week, it will not involve a same-sex wedding proposal.)

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  6. J. Bowman6:41 PM

    Walt kills Jack and takes over the operation, only to find Lydia has secretly sold the land around the warehouse to a golf course development. Jesse and Marie fall in love and move with Skyler and the kids to an artists' compound, the remaining NMN decide to move closer to the border to become vigilante patrolmen, and as an angry, sputtering Walt watches them all drive away, he's struck by a golf ball hit from the groundbreaking ceremony. He collapses...
    ... and wakes up in bed next to Jane Kaczmerek.

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  7. Joseph Finn7:39 PM

    Hot damn, that is a good theory.

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  8. bellawilfer9:49 PM

    I like a lot of what folks have already said and won't bother to put my pastiche of previously-stated predictions in a comment, but did come here to say that
    Linda Holmes continues to be one of my favorite everythings ever. Because this (and many other things, but currently this): "If your two ACTs are "Walt dies" and "Walt doesn't die," you are like the guy who wishes for three more wishes, and that guy is the worst."

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  9. I find this post particularly delightful after last night. Way to pull out one of the smallest but still critical plot elements.

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