Wednesday, February 19, 2003

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE STUDENT: Every week, I look forward to reading the new edition of The Amherst Student, my alma mater's campus newspaper, for which I was a sports editor for two years.

That said, can someone please explain this column in the new edition:
It’s not as simple as alliances and good versus evil, the fight for attention and the quest for victory. This diversion, this reality show, empowers the audience to one extent and undermines them to another. Should we tune out when the government tells us to tune in? I will continue to watch these programs; they are not interfering with the sense of who I am, although they may mask and disguise my fears, even if only for an hour. But in the remaining hours of the day, I am left to confront the fact that I do not live in a reality show where everything is apparent to the viewer, easy and digestible. I deal with the fact that I am in a complex world of truths, both hidden and visible, mostly covert, and I cannot predict the outcome. It is dealing with these truths, instead of allowing myself to virtually escape that will ultimately prove if I can function in the unstable state of our nation.

Seriously, I think I'm fairly hip with the lingo the kids are dropping these days, but, with this one, I'm, like, apretentiouscollegestudentsayswhat? Could someone please translate this into English, and tell me what point the author is trying to make? Seriously. Email me if you can make heads or tails out of this, and I'll post the best responses.

Finally, the Student does a great service by publishing the campus crime log every week. This week's highlights:
January 21, 2003

10:01 p.m., Crossett: Officers responded to a report of someone lying on the ground. The officers found a student who was using a telescope to view the stars.

January 24, 2003

10:45 p.m., Hamilton House:
Officers found and confiscated a large amount of hard alcohol in the basement common room in preparation for an unauthorized party.


That second item apparently refers to the fact that the campus rent-a-cops took it upon themselves to shut down the debate team's party, and that ain't right. Debaters shouldn't have to fight for their right to party.

That said, shouldn't a college debate team have been able to persuade the officers to change their minds?

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