ALSO KNOWN AS "OOKIE": I'll try to be calm about this and just state that I strongly disagree -- for football and moral reasons -- with the decision of my preferred football club to name a new permanent starting quarterback. In lieu of a rant, I will refer instead to the quarterback's 2007 plea agreement and statement of stipulated facts:

12. In or about the summer of 2002 at various times, PEACE, PHILLIPS, TAYOR, and VICK "rolled" or "tested" additional "Bad Newz Kennels" dogs by putting the dogs through fighting sessions at 1915 Moonlight Road to determine which animals were good fighters. VICK was aware that PHILLIPS, PEACE, and TAYLOR killed a number of dogs that did not perform well in testing sessions around this same time period. VICK did not kill any dogs at this time. . . .

32. In or about April 2007, PEACE, PHILLIPS, VICK, and two others "rolled" or "tested" additional "Bad Newz Kennels" dogs by putting the dogs through fighting sessions at 1915 Moonlight Road to determine which animals were good fighters. PEACE, PHILLIPS, and VICK agreed to the killing of approximately 6-8 dogs that did not perform well in "testing" sessions at 1915 Moonlight Road and all of those dogs were killed by various methods, including hanging and drowning. VICK agrees and stipulates that these dogs all died as a result of the collective efforts of PEACE, PHILLIPS, and VICK. . . .

Okay. Vick served his time, and has a right to participate in society again. He could earn a living doing any number of things that do not restore him to a position of glamor and celebrity. I don't have to forgive or forget, and I have not and don't plan to. But as chinmusic suggested last year when we discussed Vick, Roman Polanski and John Phillips, it's hard:

[T]he separation of artist from art is more difficult in sports, or at least team sports. I can watch Chinatown and block out Polanski, but how does an Eagles fan support the Eagles without supporting Vick? Support for an athlete is largely public. Sure maybe you don't buy his jersey or cheer for him when his name is announced, but when the team runs out of the tunnel or Vick throws a TD to Kolb in some wildcat nonsense, how can you make it known what you are and are not approving with your high-fives and fist bumps?

MY LOVE, SHE THROWS ME LIKE A RUBBER BALL: TPE wonders, in the comments in the Toto thread below, "is there a B-side other than '(Hey Hey) What Can I Do' [A: Immigrant Song], on which we really need to spend eternity?" That song, the sad tale of a man whose woman won't be true and wants to ball all day -- a volatile pair of character flaws, no doubt -- is surely among the greatest B-sides in rock history. It is unfair to the flip side, though, to suggest that there aren't others. When I was a pimply teen, I treasured my Iron Maiden cover of "Cross-Eyed Mary" (a: "The Trooper") and my Metallica covers of "Am I Evil (Yes I Am)" and "Blitzkrieg" (a: "Creeping Death," 12" picture disc). Later, I obsessed over the U2 b-sides ("Sweetest Thing," "A Room at the Heartbreak Hotel"). Today, I know every clattering mistake in the reverby demo of the Decemberists' "Kingdom of Spain" (a: "O Valencia!"), and The Thermals' "There's Nothing You Can't Learn" (a: "I Don't Believe You"), a buoyantly catchy pop-punk anthem, is better than anything on their new album.

I can't be alone here -- surely you have your own favorite b-sides.

OR AT LEAST THE SUBSET OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC THAT HAS NIELSEN BOXES HOOKED TO THEIR TV'S: So, based on last night's ratings, we can state there are things that the American public does and does not like.

• Does like--Third tier celebrities dancing, things exploding in Hawaii, being told that something is imminent and important, but not being told what exactly it is, Chuck Lorre comedies.
  
• Does not like--morally ambiguous con men backed by indie folk-rock, overly attractive U.S. Marshals running around.
  

For what it's worth, I really admired the craft and performances of Lone Star, but can see how it might not be a big hit--it's very morose and indie-film/cable-y--I'll watch the few episodes before Fox pulls it and replaces with whatever else it's got in the queue or dumps it off to FX. It's also not terribly compatible with House, or at least what that show has become as it's abandoned making House a morally ambiguous protagonist. I do hope Fox does have the decency to formally let the creators know that the show's toast so they can bring things to a satisfying conclusion.

On the other hand, Hawaii Five-0, I get completely why it's a success--completely in CBS's wheelhouse, and 3 of the 4 principals are likable and funny--in particular, it's nice to see Daniel Dae Kim getting to be lighthearted and verbal rather than morose and silent. Like NCIS: LA, it's a success in spite of something of a charisma vacuum in the lead. Not as much fun as Castle is, but a solid procedural, and as the cast and writers finds the show's rhythm, I expect the show will only get better, as NCIS: LA did over the course of its first year.

"WE KIND OF CAME TO EXPECT MIRACLES": The inspirational story of Adam Taliaferro, 10 years after a spinal cord injury suffered in a Penn State football game almost left him a quadriplegic.

SECOND PLACE, UNDOUBTEDLY, GOES TO STING: A few weekends ago I sat on a Cape Cod beach in the aftermath of Hurricane Tropical Storm Well It Rained A Lot Earl with frequent commenter Chuck and his family, as well as the sconstants and others, and I forget how we got to this topic but we started singing Toto's 1983 number-one hit "Africa" and couldn't help but wonder: is there a worse metaphor in all of pop music than "I know that I must do what's right -- as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti."

Seriously. What, exactly, is a mountain's elevation (in comparison to another mountain) supposed to tell us about a decision to pursue a woman? Add to that the decidedly sub-Dylan cramming of syllables into the verse, and as admittedly catchy as the song is musically the whole damn thing just makes no sense. Is there worse out there?

CHIEF NOC-A-HOMA'S BOYS: You will not see me praising Atlanta's baseball players often, but sufficient dap is due and owing to Matt Diaz for his well-executed tripping of an on-field intruder during last night's game after the spandex-clad idiot had caused the first two security officers to fall. Said Diaz: “I saw this idiot coming right at me. I figured he’d be better off getting tripped than Tased.”

[Quipped one online commenter: "Presumably the fan was left-handed or Diaz wouldn't have made contact."]

Now, the economic point: this is the second such incident I've seen in person this season; the first was the May 3 tasering. Both nights were Dollar Dog Nights, and I have to wonder -- does the availability of cheap hot dogs lead fans to spend more discretionary money on beer, and therefore make incidents like this one more likely?

OBYTYRY: Former Southern high school gym teacher Leonard Skinner has passed away. Of his famous rockin' former students, he said, “They were good, talented, hard-working boys. They worked hard, lived hard and boozed hard.”