MY BABY LOVES TO DO THE CHA CHA CHA: The stars,
they are a-dancin'. I personally find the foxtrot to be a wholly uninteresting dance, so the men and their cha chas had something of an intrinsic advantage over the women's largely clumsy-footed attempts at a little Ginger Rogers. There are way too many uninteresting competitors to do anything like a full recap at this point, but just a few comments:
- Emmitt Smith could not be more adorable.
- Joey Lawrence is scary without hair.
- Mario Lopez has doublejointed hips.
- Harry Hamlin seems as intense as his wife, Lisa Rinna, was last time around. I couldn't stop laughing at his facial expressions.
- Poor Tucker Carlson, present as the Kenny Mayne inaugural amuse-bouche for the wolves.
- Jerry Springer lacks the suavité of George Hamilton (whose name I always need to look up after I type George Harrison), but should still pick up some of the silver-hair vote for a week or two.
- Didn't much care about any of the women, mainly for the foxtrot reason mentioned earlier. But who, pray tell, is Willa Ford?
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