GO F**K YOURSELF, SAN DIEGO: I opened up the newspaper this morning and found out that the Chargers hired Norv Turner as their new coach. Normally, I'm a guy who tends to think that my own beloved teams are the dumbest ones in pro sports -- letting Nate McMillan go; hiring and then not firing Mike Hargrove; trading away exciting players and then overspending in free agency for junkballers, one-legged DHs, and dinosaur-deniers -- but this is just inexplicable. Washington gave him seven years to build a team, and he never moved them past "mediocre underachievers." His career winning percentage is about 41%, and he left both of the teams he coached in disarray. The best thing that can be said about his career in Oakland is that he wasn't Bill Callahan or Art Shell. The happiest person in sports today must be Mike Shanahan.
As a bonus, I linked to that rarest of beasts: a Len Pasquarelli story that contains not a single awkward metaphor or forced use of a word discovered in a poor-quality thesaurus (or on the Captivate Network). Sure, the passive voice is used excessively by Pasquarelli, but that should be ignored by you.