TYPICAL: We weren't that thrilled with
the first showing from the Idol men last year or
the year before that, and no one brought the house down tonight either. You can't win the competition this early, but, like Chris Daughtry ("Dead or Alive", "Hemorrhage") or Bo Bice ("Drift Away", "Whipping Post"), you can generate enough good will to get you halfway through the finals based on a great first impression. No one tonight did that.
Top rank goes to the Second-Rate Timberlake Lookalike doing Second-Rate
Daughtry Bo Bice by way of
Elliott Yamin, or Beat Box Blake working his way through Keane, but no one was that worthy of praise. Our boy, Chris Sligh, sang his favorite band (Mute Math), but it just didn't do it for me, dawg, but the true bottom tonight had to be Paul Kim, whose blown falsetto version of "Careless Whisper" brought back memories of Juanita Barber's "What About The Children" for all-time semifinal suck. Makes you miss Ace Young.
I'm not feeling compelled to make any calls tonight.
e.t.a.: "Ca ma an ta a fee ri"! --
Dan Fienberg has more. As does
Alan Sepinwall, who notes, "I don't know how much range Chris has, but if nothing else he works within his limitations like a more self-aware version of Taylor Hicks." Also,
Lisa de Moraes, who gives the full blow-by-blow of Seacrest v. Cowell v. Sligh, and describes the singers
seriatim as "Scott Baio as boy-bander singing in a bar bad", "He was a Christina Aguilera backup singer? bad", "Never pick a Moody Blues song bad", "George Michael lite with bare feet bad", "Not as bad as the others", "Simperingly sweet bad", "Bravely chose Keane song and not too bad", "His hair was best part of performance bad", "Not so bad", "Who?", "Theme-park bad" and "Treacly bad".
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