NOT THE ONE WITH DAN VS DAVE: While Vince McMahon tries to figure out which of Iran's three gold medal-winning wrestlers he wants to sign as his next heel superstar, the gold medal in basketball crotch shots is being awarded (no, not the other kind), and we await this afternoon's gold medal women's soccer game, this question: the modern pentathlon is "modern" in the way that "modern art" is -- it reflects a sense of what modernity represented to a past era. In this case, Baron de Coubertin's envisioning of the 19th Century skills required to be a cavalry soldier behind enemy lines -- riding an unfamiliar horse, fighting with pistol and blade, swimming, and running away.
It's 2012. Surely there's a contemporary set of disciplines we can string together with some narrative, and my first thought (as many of mine are) goes to the skills required in Back to the Future: skateboarding, running, boxing, guitar-playing, and auto racing. You can do better.