Wednesday, February 6, 2013

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.


  1. Watts4:48 PM

    It is sort of refreshing to see brand promotion be as forbidden as female sexuality.

  2. sconstant5:06 PM

    No lapel pins (ribbons, mostly) for causes! Wow, the 90s are really over now.

  3. Adam B.5:21 PM

    I was wondering whether "visibly spelled out" literally meant that -- you can have a ribbon, but not a button saying "ACT UP FIGHT AIDS," say.

  4. sconstant5:45 PM

    You may be right, but in a world where one assumes the Pepsi logo and the word "Pepsi" would both be considered "commercial identification of actual brand name products" you have to imagine that "visibly spelled out" doesn't mean actual spelling. Then again, you can't really ban people from wearing yellow bracelets or pulling on their earlobe or whatever.

    It's not the most precise dictum to ever be dicted. As another example, I don't fully understand " Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack" at all, try as I might. Could there be a missing noun that "bare" and "fleshy" were supposed to moderate? Could "fleshy" be a typo for flesh? Could "under curves" be intended as a noun (if so, I would hypenate at least)? Are you to avoid exposing (bare fleshy under curves) of (the buttocks and buttock crack) or (bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks) and (buttock crack)?

  5. Adam B.6:11 PM

    I took it to mean "don't wear shorts/skirt that's so short on the bottom we can see the curves of your ass poking through the bottom, or so short on the top that we can see your ass crack."

    In other words, add a comma after buttocks.

  6. Watts6:58 PM

    I'm still trying to figure out if SOY BOMB broke the rules here or not.

  7. Yeah, so if you want to support "TWLOHA," just spell it out in cuts.

  8. isaac_spaceman7:27 PM

    Given the idiocy of these rules, it's no surprise that the person or committee authoring them cannot write. I read it as follows:

    - "Under" modifies "curves," so it should be "under-curves." I would accept "undercurves" as an acceptable neologism with "underboob" and "sideboob" as slightly bluer precedent, though this suggests that the simple use of "underboob" and "underbutt" (another neologism, but understandable enough when paired with "underboob") would improve clarity.

    - If this were statutory construction, one would be tempted to say that "bare" and "fleshy" have to mean different things; otherwise, one of the words would be construed as pure surplusage. has three definitions of "fleshy," but two clearly are inapplicable. "consisting of or resembling flesh" can't be it, because that usage also would render the term meaningless, since all underboob and underbutt consists of flesh. It also can't be "flesh-like," basically for the same reason. So it must mean "plump; fat." Thus, "bare fleshy" underboob/underbutt is unacceptable, but CBS can live with "bare gaunt underboob," and perhaps "bare muscular underbutt."

    - There is no textual clue as to whether "bare fleshy" modifies "buttock crack." But, again, if the term "fleshy" is to have meaning, it must not modify that term. This is because a buttock crack cannot be "plump; fat" (nor can it satisfy either other definition of "fleshy." It is defined in opposition to flesh; that is, it exists only as the interstitial space between two volumes of flesh. Accordingly, all buttocks cracks are prohibited, including clothed buttocks cracks. On-camera personalities therefore should arrive without buttocks, though, for buttock-crack-removing reasons a person may opt to arrive with only one buttock, whether resulting from the removal of the other buttock or the surgical fusion of both.

    - Other things not prohibited: bare non-crack portions of buttocks (e.g. through separate buttock-cheek cutouts); full frontal genitalia, provided that it is non-puffy (which I presume means "resembling Sean Combs").

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