THAT RHYMES WITH P, AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL:  Apparently, at upfronts this morning, NBC announced that after Peter Pan: Live!, their next live musical will be The Music Man.  For once, NPH/Anne Hathaway is actually plausible, but let's try and be a little more innovative.  (Cristin Milioti as Marian, especially since she's got an NBC sitcom in the fall?)

LET'S GO CRAZY, BROADWAY STYLE: Anne Hathaway and Jimmy Fallon go all Marnie Michaels and sing some hip-hop songs a la Broadway.

HELLO, MY NAME IS ELDER CUNNINGHAM, AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU THIS MOST AMAZING TALE OF A FATEFUL TRIP, THAT STARTED FROM THIS TROPIC PORT ABOARD THIS TINY SHIP:  Josh Gad to star, co-write a big screen adaptation of Gilligan's Island. NPH as the Professor, Anne Hathaway as Mary Ann?

WE CAN STOP:  Hank and Marie watch the VMAs.

Let's be clear: there's nothing "shocking" about a female performer (whether singer or actress) choosing to go all sexual to prove she's all grown up, whether it's Olivia Newton-John's long trek from Sandra Dee to getting "Physical," Anne Hathaway in Havoc and Katie Holmes in The Gift, or the multi-car train wreck which remains Britney Spears' career despite Isaac's love for "Toxic". This is a path which pop culture lays out fairly plainly for women in entertainment, and those who follow it tend to get the bargained-for results.

[Speaking of which: it wasn't a "train wreck" either -- Cyrus did exactly what the choreography called for, and elicited the desired media cataclysm in which I'm now participating. If you want to see a languid train wreck, watch Spears at the 2007 VMAs.]

Let's save terms like "controversial" and "shocking" for when they're deserved: Sinead O'Connor's or Elvis Costello's SNL performances, Dylan at Newport, RuPaul's vicious undermining of Milton Berle at the 1993 VMAs (because of an off-stage slight), etc., performances which actually challenged audiences. Sunday night was a nontroversy.

CAN DO? After much negotiating, apparently Fox has successfully locked up the rights to remake Guys and Dolls, with Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt attached to play Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson, respectively.  (Honestly, wouldn't that be better with the casting flipped?)  I'm sure we'll have suggestions for othe parts--in particular, who plays Sarah and Adelaide?  (I can readily see Jennifer Garner or Anne Hathaway as Sarah, but Adelaide is a tougher nut to crack--maybe Megan Hilty or Sutton Foster?)

EGOT RED ALERT:  You know how we like to fake-cast Anne Hathaway and NPH in every Broadway role possible?  Because this fall, Anne Hathaway really is going to star alongside Alan Cumming in a Broadway revival of Cabaret.

(This also raises questions as to Season 5 of The Good Wife, for what it's worth.)

TOO BIG AND TOO LITTLE: Wanted to talk a little bit about two Best Picture nominees and how their problems are mirror images of each other.  The first is Life of Pi, which I saw tonight (had wanted to see Zero Dark Thirty, but the showtime I wanted was sold out even though I got there an hour early).  Without spoiling anything, it's safe to say that well over half of the movie takes place on a lifeboat with one human character, and is ultimately a pretty small story.  That's not inherently a bad thing--indeed, Robert Zemeckis and Tom Hanks did pretty well with a similarly constrained storytelling tool for Cast Away.  However, what Lee (partially in a desire to be faithful to the source material) tries to do is make this story have gigantic cosmological implications, with massive CGI fantasy sequences.  He's not exactly helped along by Suraj Sharma, the unknown playing Pi, who isn't really a commanding screen presence.  A lot of the imagery in the film is gorgeous (and having seen it in 3D, I can see why several critics said to see it that way), but it left me feeling like it tried too hard.

On the other hand, there's Les Mis.  Les Mis is a pretty damn epic story, spanning almost 20 years of major French historical events, massive casualties, sweeping love stories, and the like.  However, for the vast majority of the film, the decision's been made to present things in a series of close-ups rather than a broader, more epic standpoint.  I'll be the first to admit that there are times this approach pays dividends--Anne Hathaway is going to win an Oscar off a rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream" that was only possible through the decision to focus in on Fantine's personal pain in that moment rather than the more epic scope that song has traditionally been given.  However, moments that should have more sweep--"One Day More" and "Red and Black" in particular--wind up becoming so intimate that we don't get the broader importance.  Admittedly, the choice to hold back on something sweeping until the finale does help give the finale a little more punch, but I wonder if the film would have been stronger with more evenness in scope and emotion.

FWIW, my current best picture rankings are probably Argo>Lincoln>Silver Linings Playbook>Les Mis>Life of Pi, with 4 left to see (Zero Dark Thirty will definitely be seen, Django and Beasts of the Southern Wild probably will be, but I'm not sure I can manage Amour)--though I'd go Day-Lewis/Lawrence/Arkin/Hathaway on the acting ballot as of now.

THEY DO OVERLOOK THAT HE WAS THE BOMB IN PHANTOMS:We speculated about EW's Entertainer of the Year a couple of weeks ago and turns out we were all wrong.  For reinventing his career (as embodied by his direction of and performance in Argo), your Entertainer of the Year?  Ben Affleck.

ETA:  The full list includes a number of folks we speculated about--Channing Tatum, Joss Whedon, Jennifer Lawrence, Seth MacFarlane--a few we should have expected--the cast of Homeland, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt--and an interesting surprise choice in Kerry Washington.

BEING AN ACTOR'S NO DIFFERENT THAN BEING A RUGBY PLAYER OR CONSTRUCTION WORKER, SAVE FOR THE FACT THAT MY TOOLS ARE THE MECHANISMS WHICH TRIGGER HUMAN EMOTION:  The NYMag folks did a lot of math (and employed not-much subjectivity) to determine who the 100 most valuable movie stars are in Hollywood these days, with some neat tools to re-weigh the criteria employed, and best of all it's not a slideshow.

(Too high: Daniel Radcliffe, Jonah Hill. Too low: Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway. Oddly missing: Samuel L. Jackson.)

IDLE MUSINGS:  This actual season of American Idol, at the moment, isn't nearly as interesting for me as the discussion/mock draft Bill Simmons hosted on the B.S. Report this week: if you had an unlimited budget, and the people you ask would say yes, what's your dream American Idol judging panel?  Timberlake-Madonna-Prince, anyone?  Harry Connick Jr-Stevie Wonder-Cyndi Lauper?

[Yes, Isaac, you can pick NPR NPH and Anne Hathaway.]

CAREFUL THE FILMS YOU MAKE, CHILDREN WILL WATCH THEM: Into the Woods is arguably the most accessible Sondheim musical, and given its fairy-tale roots, I'm actually surprised that it hasn't made its way to the big screen yet, but Disney is apparently putting it back on the fast track, this time in a Rob Marshall-directed version which will allegedly get new Sondheim songs. I'm wondering if they've finally got a concept that works--the show uses a narrator who inserts himself into the action, which is tricky to do in a film, and I assume we can expect a star-studded cast. (Obligatory suggestion--NPH and Anne Hathaway as Baker and Baker's Wife.)

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING WITH THE HELP OF AUTOTUNE? After much jockeying, the final two big parts in Les Miserables have apparently been cast. Amanda Seyfried (who warbled credibly in Mamma Mia!) has been offered Cosette, and Taylor Swift has been offered Eponnine. Not sure what this means for the film's artistic prospects (beyond being a sure bet for a mess of Golden Globe nominations), but certainly would not seem to hurt the commercial prospects. Cast already includes Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, and Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter (as the Thernadiers).

ONLY A KID, BUT HARD TO SCARE:  Finalists for the role of Éponine in the Crowe-Jackman Les Misérables appear to be Scarlett Johansson, Evan Rachel Wood, Lea Michele, and Taylor Swift.

And remember, Isaac: they already cast Anne Hathaway (as Fantine).

WE CAN ONLY ASSUME NPH AS MARIUS IS THE NEXT TO BE ANNOUNCED: Allegedly, Anne Hathaway is in talks to play Fantine in a movie version of Les Mis as her next role, which will give her the chance to do "I Dreamed A Dream." The article also suggests that Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter are close to signing to play the Thenardiers, with Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe already attached as Valjean and Javert, respectively. I'm still not sure that it works transitioned from stage to film, but the cast is certainly shaping up nicely.

WILL IT FEATURE THE B SHARPS AND HERE COMES TREBLE? Jason Moore, best known for directing "Avenue Q" and "Shrek The Musical," as well as directing episodes of Everwood and Brothers and Sisters will make his feature debut with Pitch Perfect, "a musical comedy set in the world of college a cappella groups" produced by Elizabeth Banks and her husband, with a screenplay from Kay Cannon (who wrote the "Jackie Jormp-Jomp" episode of 30 Rock). I'm quite sure that alone has already sold many of y'all tickets--but who (aside from NPH and Anne Hathaway) needs to appear in this movie?

TO BE EMBEDDED IN ALOTT5MA SOURCE CODE:

10 IF ("musical" + "cast" + ("she" or "her")) THEN GO TO 40
20 IF ("musical" + "cast" + ("he" or "him")) THEN GO TO 60
30 GO TO 80
40 PRINT "Anne Hathaway"
50 GO TO 20
60 PRINT "NPH"
70 GO TO 80
80 END
RUN

This may save you all some time.

MEOW:  Julie Newmar. Eartha Kitt. Lee Meriwether. Michelle Pfeiffer. Halle Berry. Anne Hathaway!

IT DOES MEAN WE'D BE SPARED LEA MICHELE AS ELPHABA: While Wicked: The Movie Musical remains in turnaround (finding names with the right look and vocal range for the leads who are in the right age range and who are big enough to support the budget that'd be needed is going to be tricky--best I can do at the moment is Anne Hathaway or Mandy Moore as Elphaba and Reese Witherspoon as Galinda), ABC and Salma Hayek are apparently pursuing the concept of an 8-hour non-musical miniseries based on the book. The book is a lot darker, more complex, and heavier on the political metaphor than the movie, and makes Elphaba the clear protagonist, unlike the musical, where Glinda is a co-lead. Not sure if I'm sold on this as an idea, and the casting Michael Ausiello proposes at the link is godawful (love me some Heather Morris on Glee, but no, this is not the right part for her), but would certainly mean HBO would have some competition in all those Emmy categories we've suggested could be abolished.

WHY, I'D CUT OFF MY RIGHT ARM TO GET THAT GIG!  Next year's Academy Awards will be hosted by Anne Hathaway and James Franco.  If it's like recent years, you'll see a lot of them in the first half-hour and then they'll disappear because the show has fallen hopelessly behind schedule.   I'm sure they'll both be charming, but this doesn't much matter.

THIS EMMY IS NOW DIAMONDS! The Creative Arts Emmys handed out tonight included some complete non-surprises (Betty White and John Lithgow winning for guest acting were foregone conclusions), but also NPH's first (and second!) Emmys (as part of the producer team for the 2009 Tonys and as guest actor for his work on Glee), Anne Hathaway's first step toward a potential EGOT (for her voiceover work as Princess Penelope on The Simpsons), Jeff Probst continuing his streak for Reality Host, and yes, an Emmy win for The Man Your Man Could Smell Like. Discuss whatever's worth discussing here--I expect we'll have something next Sunday for live discussion.

ETA: Hitfix has red carpet photos, including the good (Christina Hendricks, unsurprisingly), the bad (Miranda Cosgrove tying to be Miley), and the ugly (Alan Cumming's blue plaid ensemble).