A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

EUGOOGLY: I haven't had a really good critical diss to run for a while. But then the Philadelphia Inquirer's Craig LaBan sat down at the new Belgian pub Eulogy in Olde City, and . . .

Then again, beer folks can be as finicky about their paraphernalia as wine snobs, demanding specific glasses for virtually every beer. So when our server showed up glass-less, expecting us to drink those world-class beers straight from the bottle, alarm bells went off in our heads.

In fact, many of the servers at Eulogy do a fine job - respecting the brews, explaining them well, and serving them as often as possible in the proper chalice. But this weekend waiter didn't know his Kwak from his Corsendonk.

"Tell me the number - we're like a Chinese restaurant!" he'd say every time we asked for an artisanal beer by name.

I can understand a novice trying to sift through hundreds of beers by numbers. But jeez, there are only 10 appetizers.

"Tell me the number – we're like a Chinese restaurant!"

But things were simplified further, it turned out, by the fact that only two of those 10 appetizers were edible: the freaky frietjes fries and the cool asparagus spears paired with chewy Belgian Ardennes ham.

The others? Well . . .

Keep reading, and find out what dish ended up tasting like "a cross between gruel and tile grout." As we like to say here, yikes.