Wednesday, June 11, 2003

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CONGRATULATE YOURSELF TOO MUCH: Moorestown High School litigant/plagiarist Blair Hornstine has decided not to attend her high school's graduation, and instead would like to be named valedictorian in absentia.

This weblog was able to obtain a draft of her planned valedictory address, however. It begins:
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2003:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. . . .
Posted by Adam at 3:22 PM

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