A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

TOOK A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER TO BOTH HEADLIGHTS: A local radio station was playing Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" this morning (somewhat oddly, as NYC does not have a country station), with which I was not familiar. A few thoughts and questions:

• Isn't this really just Alanis Morissette with a country beat, some pedal steel, and a little fiddle, with a little less sexuality and quite a bit more violence?
• The lyrics seem to imply that the singer can "shoot a combo" in pool and can shoot whiskey. Am I the only one that has difficulty picturing Underwood doing either of these things? (Related--is Underwood in a position to be condemning someone for being a "bleach blonde tramp?")
• How does digging your "key into the side of his pretty little 4 wheel drive" lead to "carv[ing your] name into his leather seats?" Did Miss Underwood break into the car?

Of course, this continues our general fascination with the grammatical and ontological implications of songs sung by Idol alumni.