Tuesday, August 16, 2011

EVERYONE WHO READS THIS BLOG EITHER IS ALREADY DEAD OR OTHERWISE WOULD HAVE LIVED TO BE 200 YEARS OLD: According to some presumably junk science,* every hour of television you watch shortens your life by 22 minutes. But it would have been 22 minutes of sitting on the couch in a dark room complaining that nothing was on, so don't sweat it.

*The study was performed by "experts from the University of Queensland, Australia." I mean no disrespect to Slowlylu, but have you ever heard the phrase "Australian scientists have discovered ..." followed by anything of consequence?

HT: @HitFixDaniel, whose Twitter handle is both an identifier and a series of sequential instructions.

7 comments:

  1. Benner11:34 AM

    I don't think the survey controlled for underlying health problems. Some people may vege because they work really hard and have a lot of stress, and some may because they have heart troubles that may keep them from other activities. Further, reading a book is also sedentary.

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  2. Duvall1:06 PM

    Further, reading a book is also sedentary.

    Those finding were ruthlessly suppressed by the publisher-industrial complex.

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  3. Duvall1:07 PM

    <span>Further, reading a book is also sedentary.  
     
    Those findings were ruthlessly suppressed by the publisher-industrial complex.</span>

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  4. The Pathetic Earthling1:16 PM

    Instead of watching TV tonight, I think I'll smoke crack.

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  5. Squid2:17 PM

    The important thing is that the study showed that more study is needed.  Gotta keep them grants flowing!

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  6. Ilana9:33 PM

    Considering there has been about a dozen Australian Nobel Prize winners, I'm guessing they discovered one or two things that mattered, even if you discount Dr Karl's Ig Nobel winning research into belly button fluff.

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  7. slowlylu9:51 PM

    No disrespect taken Australian scientists have discovered all sorts of useful stuff including how to ensure those research grants keep come in.

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