IS THAT A SHARPIE IN YOUR JOCK OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? The NFL is shocked -- shocked! -- that ABC inappropriately mixed sex and football by running a Desperate Housewives promo featuring Nicolette Sheridan jumping naked into Terrell Owens's arms. According to the NFL, the promo was "unsuitable for our Monday Night Football audience." The NFL heartily disapproves of all female sexual objectification that distracts from the overtly homoerotic action on the field.
In completely unrelated news, you can now order your 2005 Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Lingerie Calendar (featuring: little or no lingerie) on the Eagles' web site. Other lingerie, swimwear, or just plain wee costume calendars and paraphenalia available through NFL.com. Don't forget to visit our sponsors, Coors Light (official panderer of the Coors Light Twins) and Miller Lite (proud sponsor of catfights).