Thursday, January 7, 2010
COMFORT, POWER, HANDLING, AND ABJECT, HELPLESS TERROR: I realize I'm six or seven years late on this, but did you know that for five years Chrysler sold a car called the "Crossfire"? I realize that ballistic branding has some success for American car manufacturers (hello, Dodge Caliber), but exactly what positive association was this brand manager trying to evoke? Has there ever been anybody in the history of gunplay who entered a crossfire with anything less than severe reluctance and stomach-roiling anxiety, or who exited a crossfire without thinking, "thank God I survived that; may I never get into another crossfire again"? Unless there is some sort of positive connotation of which I'm unaware, this must be the worst car brand name I've ever heard.
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If you don't drive it you'll be in a crossfire? No.
ReplyDeleteIf you drive it everyone else would be in your crossfire? No.
I actually got to drive one as a rental. Pretty good acceleration but horrible visibility.
Maybe somebody at Chrysler was going through a Stevie Ray Vaughan phase?
ReplyDeletehttp://songza.fm/~jx8bus
You forgot the board game.
ReplyDeleteI take your point, but I think the idea is that if you are laying down a crossfire, you are in control of the situation.
ReplyDeleteBest part of the Crossfire was the failed ad campaign relying on Michael Kinsley and Pat Buchanan. "We don't agree on much, but...."
ReplyDeleteSo it should only be driven in tactical groups after extensive training and under able leadership? Still doesn't solve the problem where you want to control it, but you wouldn't want to get caught in it.
ReplyDeleteAnd then the competitors' ads, featuring Jon Stewart accusing the Crossfire of hurting America.
ReplyDeleteI find that to be true of most Chrysler/Dodge vehicles, especially the poor visibility part. The Rams have huge blind spots off the front corners, as do the newer Jeeps.
ReplyDeleteIs Crossfire really worse than the Probe?
ReplyDeleteThe one I hate is the Cube... is there anything less aerodynamic sounding than a giant block? Not to mention the fact that lack of symmetry bothers me terribly... why does the window only wrap around one side?? It's the side-ponytail of cars.
ReplyDelete"It's the side-ponytail of cars." Nice!!
ReplyDeleteEverytime I see one, for a split second I think "Hey, that looks kinda neat... oh wait. No it doesn't."
Imagine being a Detroit Red Wings fan only to see GMC introduce both a "Colorado" and an "Avalanche" in the 90s. What the hell, guys? This IS a Detroit based company, right?
ReplyDeleteI guess "Avalanche" is pretty bad too. Maybe a rule of thumb should be that the model name should never sound bad at the end of the following sentence: "I was just caught in a ___." Prism, A8, Cayenne, Focus, Gallant -- OK. Crossfire, Avalanche, Probe, Sting -- bad.
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