THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN THE UGLY BUSTS OF SADDAM: Apparently, Iraqis are nuts about Lionel Richie.

I THINK I'D BE OKAY IF IT WERE DANNI BOATWRIGHT: For those Philadelphians still on the unimpeded Cole Hamels for Sainthood train, this warning: he's dating former Survivor castaway and Playmate Heidi Strobel, she of the peanut butter and no clothing immunity challenge.

"PROBABLY ONE OR TWO STEPS AWAY FROM COMPETING WITH HELEN HUNT FOR HBO ROLES": Well, that's Jeff Wells' assessment of Jennifer Aniston's future career arc, given that, apparently, no one wants to see The Breakup. Does anyone disagree with a word of this?

I'm told that while audiences enjoy Vaughn in an off-the-wall mode, they don't want to see him in semi-romantic parts. This is bad news for Aniston also because now she's 0 for 4 -- Derailed, Rumor Has It, Friends with Money and now this thing. She's all but kaput as a big-screen, big-bucks player. She's not particularly sexy, not perky, not a gifted comedienne . . . and she always seems to play parts in an introspective, low-energy way.

IN A WORLD RULED BY A CRUEL DICTATOR, ONE WOMAN STOOD UP: I suspect the movie version of The Devil Wears Prada is not of much interest to most of our readers (though Meryl Streep having the opportunity to flex some comic muscles can be a rare treat, as Adaptation proves in spades), but I link to the trailer because I think it can spur an interesting discussion of movie marketing. First, the trailer's an unsually long 3 minutes. Second, there's no voice-over, rapid cutting, title cards (other than the final one), or any attempt to tell us what the story is about. Instead, the studio has just given us a 3 minute scene from near the start of the movie, in which our heroine (Anne Hathaway, who we're supposed to believe is the "plain girl") meets our villainess (Streep) for the first time. No surprises, jokes (heck, there's not even a "laugh line"), set pieces, or any of the plot seems to get spoiled beyond what you'd read on the jacket flap of the book. It's an interesting approach--think it'll work? (My view is that it probably won't, but that the film will do all right anyway.)

SET YOUR TIVOS. NOW: Next Friday night at this time (5/26, 11pm eastern), the USA Network will be re-running the House episode "Three Stories", the penultimate episode of the show's first season.

The Futon Critic hailed it as television's best hour in 2005; indeed, it won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series, besting both "Walkabout" and the pilot of Lost. I know some in these parts wouldn't hesitate to put it in the same sentence with "Two Cathedrals" and "Love's Labor Lost", even with Bradley Whitford failing to make the trifecta.

If you can't resist, spoil yourself by reading the TWoP recap here.

(For more on this general topic, Matt and I started the Best Dramatic Episodes Of The Past Decade Or So debate even before the blog merger.)

A GREAT WAY TO WASTE TIME AT THE OFFICE: What is The Jeopardy! Archive, Alex? Seriously--56,595 answers and questions should keep you busy for at least a few hours. Hat tip to an old friend of mine who goes by the nom de TWOP of Mean Dean.

FROM THE WHO'D-A THUNK IT DEPARTMENT: Brace yourselves for a truly shocking turn of events. Are you ready? The runaway bride and her once and future fiance are no longer together. I know, it's deeply distressing. And about as surprising as each subsequent Britney Spears baby-dropping or concept-of-car-seat-ignoring incident. Hang in there -- you'll feel more like yourself again tomorrow.

NO LE BATARD ALLOWED: In the spirit of Kornheiser and Wilbon, it's time to play a little bit of Over/Under. What's your Over/Under for opening weekend grosses for The Da Vinci Code? So you know, it looks like it's virtually impossible to get tickets for a "primetime" showtime in Manhattan for tonight already. I'll take 95 million, just slightly above the opening weekend for Harry Potter 3.

GUARANTEEING A RICH SYNDICATION DEAL IN GERMANY: A while back, we asked the question of who you would have sought to judge American Idol if you could do it all over again. Simon Cowell's getting that sort of shot with his new NBC show, America's Got Talent, hosted by diminutive dynamo Regis Philbin (seriously, the guy's Cruise-sized), which will apparently cover all types of talent. And your judges are:

• "Grammy Award-winning singer, major film and television actress, model, spokesperson, producer and Mom" Brandy.
• "Internationally recognized for both his work in television and music"--David Hasselhoff.
• "Former editor of the London Daily Mirror" Piers Morgan.

Seems like Brandy=Paula, Hasselhoff=Randy, Morgan=Simon, or at least that's the intent. So, will you watch? Do you care?

THE EXTREME ALWAYS SEEMS TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION: Not satisfied with getting cruelly rejected by the locker rooms after Spanish class, today's teenagers are making a big production over asking each other out to the prom:

Michael Medeiros, a senior at Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, invited his date at the senior banquet.

Weeks earlier, he had decided to ask Ashley Grimaldi, who was "just a friend. We weren't going out. But I liked her, I guess." Trouble was, he didn't have a clue how to impress her.

One guy he knew had asked a girl over dinner in a restaurant, persuading a waiter to write the question in icing on a piece of cake. Another had painted a huge sign and held it outside the intended's bedroom window. "Guys have made this into a competition," Medeiros says, "and I didn't have any creative ideas."

Luckily for Medeiros, his pals did. . . . .

Consider this thread open for all prom-related stories, hijinks and memories.

SHAMELESS COMMERCE DIVISION: One of our readers has launched a clothing line, so if you were looking for a t-shirt, hoodie, pair of boxers or thong which said "Sincerity is the new irony", you're finally in luck.

...AND THE CHILDREN SHALL PLEAD. I suppose Mrs. Earthling won't let me bid on the replica of Captain Kirk's command chair when Southeby's holds a Star Trek liquidiation sale this October, but the gown worn by the apparition of Melvin Belli in Season Three is tempting.

DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN: My high school has produced many noted alumni (not even including myself), but do we make the news for that? No. We make the news for an unknown suspect sneaking in a bag of muffins that were apparently tainted with Benadryl and marijuana, and the FBI is currently investigating. No word on whether this was inspired by an episode of Arrested Development.

MORE CAMERA-SNEAKING SUCKUPS: Enjoy this -- the Grey's Anatomy presentation at upfronts -- before it's yanked from YouTube. I love how McDreamy's segment is actually introduced as "McDreamy" instead of "Derek" or "Shepard." Oh, and make sure to watch until the end.

ANOTHER FISH, THOUGHT TO BEAR AN IMAGE OF THE PROPHET, WAS STONED TO DEATH: If this keeps up Kenya will have its own local edition of The Weekly World News in no time. I suspect shenanigans of some sort, but hope next for an African elephant who's wrinkles resemble an historic address by Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie I. Bonus points if its at a zoo in Kingston.

IF HE GETS UP, WE’LL ALL GET UP, IT’LL BE ANARCHY: Since Monday night, I’ve been wondering whether I read too much into the “Breakfast Club” feeling of Webber's interrogation of each of the GA interns. Now that Shonda has (finally!) posted her thoughts on the “Losing My Religion” half of the season finale, I feel so vindicated and so deeply in touch with my teenage 80s self.

(And yes, I’ve been looking for something to post about this morning so that I could use me some smart quotes.)

THIS SCHEDULE IS FAIR AND BALANCED: And upfronts week ends with Fox's schedule. The good news? House stays where it is, and for the moment, has a competition-free slot for at least this pair of eyes, and new drama Standoff (which Fox describes as "Moonlighting crossed with 24" and features Ron Livingston and Gina Torres) piques my interest a bit, especially if a Palladino-free Gilmore Girls becomes a train wreck. Midseasoner The Wedding Album could be interesting as well, with a cast that manages to feature both Eva Pigford and Ashlie Atkinson. The bad news? Victor Garber's new show gets sent to the waste against Lost, and the apparently dramatically changed O.C. (link contains major spoiler for tonight's finale), will waste away against Grey's and CSI.

AS ALWAYS, AMERICA GETS THE IDOL IT DESERVES: We could have had Daughtry v. Mandisa, but instead it'll be McPhee v. Taylor in next week's finale. Anyone rooting for either of them, or is it just that you loathe one of them more than the other?

Part of why I stopped watching this season is that Taylor's shtick really grated on me. Every gesture seemed calculated, and while I don't doubt that there's an authentic White Guy Who Just Loves Soul Music deep within the heart of Taylor Hicks, I felt like we were only seeing a simulacrum, and not the real thing. (Feel free to tell me he got better over the past month.) So, who ya got?

SAY GOODNIGHT, GRACE: I never really watched the show, but the Inky's Gail Shister argues today that "Will and Grace" was a big deal, culturally. Is she right, and will you miss it?

WHEN A CRYPTOGRAPHER AND A SYMBOLOGIST GET TOGETHER, IT USUALLY ENDS IN TEARS: Especially after reading Tony Scott's review of The Da Vinci Code, but is that going to stop you from seeing the film?

Show of hands: are you going this weekend? within the next few weeks? or not at all, unless the reviews really turn more favorable?

I GUESS YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING I'VE GOT TO A FRIEND: A few bulletpoints on this week's setup for next week's Lost finale:

• I have to say that I'm a little bit annoyed that last week's scenes for this week's episode gave away what was pretty much a critical plot development.
• Miss Clue is freaky.
• Was Michael really only gone for 13 days?
• I guess that's all I can say out here.

THERE WILL BE NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY RACE: Tonight's finale, groovy-but-not-super-groovy ultimate task (super-groovy = no answer key) nothwithstanding, just didn't do it for me. Minimal opportunity for teams to distinguish themselves using their racing skills, especially with spoonfed transportation in the final city, and it was just as much of a let-down as the rest of the season was once Team Nerd was Philiminated.

Grr. Better be some good reality tv this summer.

CONDI'S COUNTDOWN: As a favor to Bono, who guest edited Tuesday edition of the UK paper The Independent, Condoleeza Rice chose her 10 Favorite Musical Works. Not surprisingly, Rice, who at one time aspired to be a concert pianist, picked five classical works. More surprising, Rice works out to Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love", reminisces to Elton John's "Rocket Man", and actually enjoys Kool and the Gang's "Celebration".

MCSPELLY: Our friend Shonda Rhimes talked to TV Guide's Michael Ausiello about the Grey's finale, as well as why she's happy about the move to Thursday:

Ausiello: How do you feel about the move to Thursday night?
Rhimes: I'm very excited about it. I think it's going to be a challenge and I am not going to complain about the fact that [ABC president] Steve McPherson thinks our show is that good.

Ausiello: You'll be as involved next season?
Rhimes: I can't go anywhere. I spent too much time thinking about it, writing scripts and working on the show to ever, ever walk away from it. And I always really hate when shows have a creator who walks away, because it can really change the show. This is my baby. It's my first television show. I don't wanna go anywhere.

I CALL THE STAIRCAR: For those of you in L.A., you can visit the estate sale of the late, great, Bluth family this weekend. According to the ad: "Spectacular array of items will include several periods of furniture, magic show accessories and artifacts, interior décor items, art, books, kitchen appliances and kitchen ware, interior/exterior lighting, office furniture, extensive entertainment memorabilia and too much more to itemize. " Among the items available will be the casket used by GOB in his ill-fated "buried alive" illusion, Lucille's dining room chair, and a George Bluth parking sign.

BECAUSE THE NET IS WHERE I GET MY ENTERTAINMENT, THIS REMAINS AN "ENTERTAINMENT ISSUE": The impending net-neutrality fatality moves on to the Senate. See the latest discussion by Art Brodsky at TPMCafe, also linked yesterday re: the telecom ad blitz. Or, to sum up, have a look at this grabber from the San Jose Mercury News:

"The future of the Internet is in the hands of Congress, and Congress is about to mess it up. The choice facing lawmakers is stark: keep the Internet as a decentralized network that no single company controls and where all users and all Web sites are treated equally; or hand control over it to an oligopoly of cable and telephone companies."

It's the same one Brodsky used, but I'm not proud, just busy and fearful that something that ain't broke is about to get a veterinary-style fixin' at the hands of an industry with a demonstrated lack of interest in end-users (beyond acheiving the maximum possible per capita monthly extraction therefrom).

GUESS VINCENT CHASE WILL BE THE ONLY AQUAMAN ON TV: Looks like we have a CW schedule, though not clearly articulated, with a total of two new shows (a third, which appears to be an OC rip-off, is set for midseason debut, likely after "7th Heaven" bids its long overdue farewell):

Sunday: 7 PM--"Top Model" (encore of previous week), 8-10 PM "Urban Comedy" Block--"Girlfriends," "All of Us," "Everybody Hates Chris," "The Game" (order not specified)
Monday: 8 PM--"7th Heaven," 9 PM "Runaways"
Tuesday: 8 PM--"Gilmore Girls," 9 PM "Veronica Mars"
Wednesday: 8 PM--"Top Model"/"Beauty and the Geek" (alternating cycles), 9 PM--"One Tree Hill"
Thursday: 8 PM--"Smallville," 9 PM--"Supernatural"
Friday: 8 PM--"Friday Night Smackdown"

With that schedule, and depending on what Fox puts at 8 on Wednesday, I may at long last have to get hooked on Miss Tyra's show, because especially if CBS's Jericho is a bust, that timeslot is wide open.

THIS BLOG'S NEWS DAY JUST GOT EVEN SLOWER: I am currently engaged in a pitched battle with a colleague over the use of smart quotes -- I am pro-; he is anti-. His argument is that (a) they are a pain to use in modern word-processing programs because when you begin a quotation with an internal quote, the program misreverses the (supposedly) smart internal quote mark; and (b) they are too pretty and make legal briefs "look like Victorian poetry." I acknowledge some minor irritation with the Word macro, but it's really not that big a deal unless you are (1) John Barth; or (2) John Barth's copyeditor. I also think that appealing to my fervent and economically provable disregard for poetry is a brilliant rhetorical move but factually unfounded: the Victorians used Smith Coronas, silly!

My own measured position is that (i) straight quotes are so foreign to the fonts that most of us use on a daily basis (especially Times New Roman) that their usage almost makes the user appear to be assembling the document from various found sources, ransom-note style; (ii) they bear a striking physical resemblance to the marks you would get if, say, you sat on an ill-tempered cat; and therefore (iii) anybody who uses straight quotes is deliberately trying to ensure that his or her writing remains unread or, at least, poorly-received.

So: please use smart quotes, or explain yourself.

YES, IT'S A SLOW NEWS DAY: That's the only explanation I can come up with for why the NYT devoted multiple column-inches today to an obituary for Lou Carrol, whose claim to fame is that he gave Tricia and Julie Nixon a dog in 1952--a dog named Checkers.

HIS KIND OF LOVE IS STILL THE KILLIN' KIND: OK, I can't be the only one amused by the fact that the most prominent pre-Lost credit of Josh "Sawyer" Holloway was as the thief in Aerosmith's "Cryin'" video (the first of the "Alicia Silverstone Trilogy," where she bungee jumps, followed by "Amazing," where she's a digital fantasy girl, and "Cryin'," where she and Liv Tyler are Catholic Schoolgirls In Trouble). Hell, better than Jorge Garcia's turn as a regular on Becker.

THE EYE IS WATCHING YOU: CBS fall schedule is out. The big news is that the CBS Sunday Movie, home of quality programming like Riding The Bus With My Sister, is no more, replaced by a Sunday lineup of TAR, Cold Case, and Without a Trace after 60 Minutes. This will, of course, be rather annoying in the fall, when TiVo will be unable to pick up with regularity due to football overrun. Apart from that, the schedule is remarkably stable, with the only other move of note being How I Met Your Mother getting the lead-off slot on Mondays, followed by new comedy The Class, with some interesting cast members (Jason Ritter, Lizzy Caplan, and two Broadway names--Heather Goldenhersh and Jesse Tyler Ferguson). Sadly, the series based on In The Shadow of the Law didn't get picked up, and 3 Lbs., a Barry Levinson riff on House with Stanley Tucci and Mark Feuerstein, won't show up until midseason.

TV IS THE THING THIS YEAR: Courtesy of some guy who apparently snuck a video camera into NBC's upfront presentation, the full six minute promo for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip has made its way onto YouTube. For those particularly spoiler-averse, it's worth noting that the promo contains material from both the first and last scenes of the pilot script. High points include the sweeping camera work and sharp editing in the intro teaser sequence, Amanda Peet's delivery of the line "Actually, there are about seven things funny about this," and the surprisingly palpable chemistry and tension between Matthew Perry and Sarah Paulson, even in a 20-second scene.

Edited--YouTube has removed the video at NBC's request.

86,400 LONG, LONG SECONDS OF POWER: 24 is starting to run a little long for me. In fact, the only reason I'm still watching (and I even skipped a recent episode entirely -- shhhh) is because it's almost over and it seems a shame to have wasted my previous 20 hours of viewing without tuning in to see (1) how Jack Bauer manages to finally save the country and thwart (a) the President, (b) Henderson, (c) Bierko, (d) Miles, and (e) Rocket Romano, and (2) how many characters the show can shockingly kill off in its last two hours. If there were more than a single sure-to-be-a-roller-coaster episode left, 24 would likely be relegated to the ranks of Desperate Housewives and The O.C. -- my DVR still dutifully recording it every week, but the recordings getting deleted long before I ever get into the mood to sit down and watch.

SO THAT YOU, TOO, MAY SOUND KNOWLEDGEABLE AND INCISIVE WHEN A CLIENT DISCUSSES THE NETWORK UPFRONTS WITH YOU: Adam has already flagged this, but the NYT's Virginia Heffernan's blog about the network upfronts is informative, funny, and well worth a read.

SOMEWHAT LESS THAN AMAZING: On the morning of the show's ninth season finale, the NYT wants to know what happened to all the Race fans?

Did the Family Edition kill the show? Is it just a show that can't be repeated infinitely and is at the end of its natural lifespan? Has the casting just failed in providing enough interesting competitors, whether on the side of Good And Fun or Compellingly Evil? And are there variations of the race, whether in terms of casting, rules or geography, which might save it for you?

HOPEFULLY THE LAST TIME I WILL HAVE TO EXPRESS THIS SENTIMENT: I know that we are not all united in this view, but it's time for Elliott to say goodnight and go home. He's nice, he's sweet, he has a pleasant (if excessively vibrato-infused) voice, but man is he boring.

Win: Taylor
Place: Katharine
Show: Elliott
Scratching his head at home and wondering why he's not there: Daughtry

STRUMMING ANOTHER SOON-TO-BE-FORGOTTEN FAVORITE ON YE OLDE NET-NEUTRALITY HARP: If it's not such a big deal, why spend so much time and money lying about it? The "damned bureaucrats making everything complicated" spin against proposals to maintain net-neutrality is unconscionable. What's so complicated about equal access for all traffic?

LESSON: AMERICANS LOVE CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY: While I'm sure that the announcement that Veronica Mars has been picked up for a third season will cause many to squee with delight (and I will get around to watching those Veronica DVD's I bought once finale week ends), can someone explain to me the logic behind the CW renewing mediocre rated and critically lambasted One Tree Hill? I get Seventh Heaven, which at least has monster ratings, but One Tree Hill? In the words of poet-philosopher GOB Bluth? "Come on!"

YOU DON'T KNOW BRUUUUUCE: There are actually some surprisingly interesting trivia tidbits about The Boss in "20 Things You Should Know About Bruce Springsteen," including the fact that he once opened for Anne Murray, he was offered $10 million to play the role of Che in Evita, and he intended to give the song "Hungry Heart" to the Ramones.

Here, by the way, are five more things about Bruce that you should know:
1. He does not have a wife or kids in Baltimore.
2. He does not have a friend who was a speed-ball pitcher back in high school.
3. Rosalita's parents were actually quite fond of him.
4. He received neither a union card or a wedding coat for his 19th birthday.
5. He is not on fire, or at least not in the literal sense.

And here's five more:
6. The edge of town? It's actually quite bright now.
7. She wasn't the one.
8. His guitar could not, in fact, talk.
9. He had no desire to be Wendy's friend, much less guard her dreams and visions.
10. When he was eight years old, his hometown newspaper cost 15 cents.

BECAUSE WE LOVE OUR READERS: Consider this thread an open forum to discuss the season finale of How I Met Your Mother. I have not yet watched, but am sufficiently spoiled on the episode to know that there's likely something to talk about.

I DON'T WANNA KEY CHANGE NO MORE: Tony Award nominations are out. Drowsy Chaperone -- a musical that had me rather squirmy with anticipation -- has received thirteen of them.

I never got around to posting my thoughts on Chaperone, partially because I was busy and partially because I found it more than a little disappointing. It's been characterized as a musical for people who love musicals, but I do love musicals -- a lot, actually -- and I found it to be more a musical about people who are somewhat incomprehensibly obsessed with musicals. The structure -- a man plays the soundtrack of a dated old walnut of a musical for the audience and comments upon it and its role in his own life, all while the soundtrack comes to life in his apartment -- is clever and sweet, as far as it goes. But the structure also serves to detract from the heart of the musical itself. Every scene with any potential emotional resonance is interrupted by some intrusion from the Man Who Loves Musical's real life, and the central conceit, that the dated old walnut is a dated old walnut, just seems to be an excuse for the fact that none of the music is any good. It's not all terrible -- Sutton Foster's intended showstopper has some hilarious bits in it (see tag line), the over-the-top-Latin-Lover Rodolpho is a hoot, even the wanna-be Shakespeare-brusher-uppers are sort of fun in a wanna-be-kind-of-way -- but a lot of it really is pretty terrible.

This might be the most curmudgeonly I've ever felt about a musical. Maybe something's wrong with me.

START LOOKING FOR THOSE DUAL-TUNER DVRS: ABC is apparently moving the juggernaut that is Grey's Anatomy to Thursdays at 9 pm. As you may recall, another show that we here at ALOTT5MA are rather excited about will also be occupying that time slot.

In recent months, Thursdays have become my relax-and-catch-up-on-TV-I've-missed-Sundays-through-Wednesdays night -- I guess that will have to change.

OH, MEXICO, I NEVER REALLY BEEN BUT I'D SURE LIKE TO GO: Best plot twist of tonight's season finale of Prison Break, without a doubt: the resolution of the VP issue. But does this all mean that we're going to have Haywirecentric episodes and Tweenercentric episodes and (gulp) T-Bagcentric episodes? Not so much camouflage in a well-mowed field, either. Discuss herein.

BUT WHAT WE FOUND OUT IS THAT EACH ONE OF US IS A BRAIN, AND AN ATHLETE, AND A BASKET CASE, AND A PRINCESS, AND A CRIMINAL. DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? That's actually all I want to say about tonight's GA season finale at this time. Oh, except that I'm so glad that Alex got the Voice of Reason speech for a change. And that Bailey knows what she's talking about when it comes to silver and white. And that Webber knows how to keep the edge. And that Adele cleared a few things up. And that Christina finally made an appearance. Have at it.

Oh, and the Breakfast Club sequence? Brilliant.

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MUSIC LOSES ITSELF IN YOU: I'm not sure what's odder in this story about Jodie Foster's Penn commencement speech--that Foster closed by reciting the chorus of "Lose Yourself" or that Yakov Smirnoff was among the graduates who Foster addressed. If they'll let in Smirnoff, maybe I shoulda applied to Penn.

IS IT WORTH $30 TO SEE GREEDO SHOOT FIRST? George Lucas, and all of us, will find out in September.

BLOGGUS INTERRUPTUS: Okay, so I neglected to mention to my co-bloggers that I was going to be in NYC and likely-without-Internet last night because of an event at which I was speaking (and at which, ironically, the keynote speaker announced new plans to greatly expand broadband access, although not really ironically because I just didn't bring a laptop), so the absence of separate threads for the West Wing and Survivor finales, as well as a Sopranos thread, is pretty much all my fault. I still haven't watched the latter two (I know, I know, the first is skippable), so visit north Jersey for full discussion of both.

(Seriously, if you've got two hours to fill, can't you spend ten minutes on a return to the Probst Takes Wacky Transportation Back To NYC montage?)

I've got little to say about the West Wing that I didn't note here. This was an episode afraid to reach for the high notes that Sorkin so often hit -- no big speeches about What It All Means or Why Toby Deserves A Pardon -- and so while it didn't fail, it didn't soar either.

Other notes:

• Glad to see Fireman Tom from Survivor has found a new, less risky job.
• Bill Carter previews the new ABC shows, but no schedule yet. Also, like Matt, I found his new book Desperate Networks too unfocused. I think by adding in the news and morning angles, he bit off more than one book could handle, and as a result the characters weren't nearly as well-drawn and compelling as The Late Shift. A better read on parallel track is James Stewart's DisneyWar, now in paperback.
• The NYT's Virginia Heffernan has an upfronts blog.
• Two Penn students greeted commencement speaker Jodie Foster with a "Hello Clarice" sign. Just saying, is all.
• I've got another speaking engagement next month in Las Vegas, a panel I'm organizing for YearlyKos with some connection to what we do here. Call it a "come as you are" event.
• Go Phightins!

EVA MANIA: Eva Longoria tops Maxim's Hot List (link to news release for those of you at work)for the second year in a row, but amazingly she is only one of three Evas in the top 30, with new Bond girl Eva Green and Eva Mendes also ranking. A few notables dropped off the list this year: Britney Spears, new mom Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek. Otherwise, I'm not sure there's much to say, except if I was making the list Green would be No. 1 and Jordanna Brewster (59) would be No. 2.

EVEN THOUGH THOSE INVOLVED WORK IN TELEVISION, I TRUST THEM: NBC's 2006-2007 primetime schedule is out, and I'm breathing a sigh of relief, as Studio 60 will air Thursdays at 9 rather than (as rumored) Wednesdays at 9, with Earl and Office moving up an hour. Other scheduling of note:

• Heroes on 9 PM Monday, but no other changes
• Friday Night Lights on 8 PM Tuesday, followed by Kidnapped
• Black Donnellys held for a midseason launch in the ER timeslot.
• L&O:D'Onforio Is A Badass moved to 10 PM Friday
• 20 Good Years (Tambor/Lithgow sitcom) and 30 Rock (Tina Fey project) get Tuesday at 9.
• America's Got Talent, The Apprentice, and Raines on Sundays after football season.
• Scrubs and Crossing Jordan returning at midseason.
• Two weekly editions of Deal or No Deal.

IF SHE EVEN LOOKS AT A SCALPEL, TACKLE HER: Well. So that would, I guess, resolve the question of which intern is leaving the program. I am also relieved that that last shot was not the summer cliffhanger.

Given the abundance of season finales this week, I'm guessing that many will be watching GA on DVR-delay, so will move the discussion into the comments pronto.