THE SECOND-HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH:  Any guidance for two days with the girls at Disneyland Park and California Adventure?

PLEASE WAIT FOR THE BEEP. PLEASE?  Young people aren't leaving voicemail messages anymore, preferring to text instead. Says one 31-year-old:

“It seems more practical to text or email. The only reason you leave a voice mail is so the person can hear the sound of your voice. It almost seems presumptuous, for that reason.” 

As she suggested, there’s also the understandable matter of efficiency. A missed-call notification on a cellphone can be its own request for a call back. A “Call me” text will likely be read more quickly than a voice mail message will be heard, and if the matter is urgent, multiple missed calls may declare that most vociferously.

MOTHER, MAY I CALL A TIME OUT? Lifetime will air The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story in September, a drama taking us behind the scenes of the 90s teen sitcom with a cast of unknowns.  More, or less exciting than the Flowers In The Attic remake?

CAN'T TAKE MY KIDS' EYES ONTO YOU:  Can someone familiar with the musical explain to me why the film adaptation of Jersey Boys had to be released as rated R for "language throughout"?  Given the content, was it just unavoidable that this be released in a family-unfriendly format?

[I also love this note from Tasha Robinson's review: "The actors’ ages don’t help; the film has a bit of a Rent problem, with performers who have aged out of their roles. The scene where Bob loses his virginity to great acclaim is odd enough—the actor is 28, the character is supposed to be 18, though the film doesn’t mention that detail—but it’s even odder when Frankie’s parents scold him about his 11 p.m. curfew. John Lloyd Young is 38."]

NOT ADDRESSED TO ANY PARTICULAR READER OF THIS SITE:  As part of our nation's Lane Courtesy Month celebration, Vox explains why you shouldn't drive slowly in the left lane:

Research shows that many traffic jams result from a surprisingly small number of slow cars obstructing traffic, with their effects rippling outward. A small buildup of cars that can't pass because someone is driving slowly in the left — right next to another car traveling slowly in the right — is the exact type of scenario that can start this cascade of traffic. 

Now, some people counter that as long as they're going the speed limit, they don't have to move over — and by slowing down would-be speeders, they're making the roads safer. 

Apart from the fact that in 44 states, simply going the speed limit doesn't permit drivers to travel in the left lane, this argument doesn't make a lot of sense based on research into how accidents occur....  research has generally shown that the strongest predictor of an accident isn't speeding, but variance from the average speed of traffic — and a car going five miles per hour slower than the surrounding traffic has a greater chance of causing an accident than one going five miles per hour faster than it.

BRING BACK THE DANCING ITOS:  Remember how last year I stopped griping about the annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, since the Kennedy Center finally bestowed the lifetime award upon Carol Burnett?

This year's honoree is Jay Leno.

Among those who have not yet received this award are Mike Nichols and Elaine May, David Letterman, Norman Lear, Eddie Murphy, Woody Allen, Don Rickles, and Mel Brooks.

JUST STICK TO THE APPROVED DIALOGUE:  The opening number from Book of Mormon, animated South Park-style.

YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE VAGICIAN:  As the parent of an eleven-year-old girl, I am incredibly amused (and only slightly petrified) by this cheeky two-minute ad for Hello Flo's Period Starter Kit, "the gift before the gift."

ALECIA MOORE RETURNS TO THE SCREEN IN PINK LIKES A MAN:  Watts and I have spent far too much time over the past week coming up with better sequel/spinoff titles than Kevin Hart's Think Like  A Man Too. 

She wants to see Steve Martin in Think Like A Man With Two Brains; I both want the Yiddishkeit epic Patinkin' Like A Mandy as well as Nigel Lithgoe's reality competition So You Think Like A Man. You, no doubt, can do worse.

WHY CAN'T YOU SET YOUR MONKEY FREE?  Dave Holmes' recap of Casey Kasem's final AT40 in 1988 is a warm remembrance of a man and a musical era ... until he says this, and while I'm normally not exorcised by "this'll make you feel old" trivia, this one's bad:

11. The Contours, “Do You Love Me”
The first of the twin horrors inflicted on our culture by Dirty Dancing, a movie that was set in 1963 and released in 1987. An equivalent movie released this year would take place in 1990. Have a nice day. 

ATTEND THE NIGHTCLUB OF SWEENEY TODD:  Playbill compiles a series of disco versions of show tunes, including "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd," "Tomorrow," and an entire album that is a disco-fied version of Guys and Dolls.

IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY:  As we've previously discussed and a truly tremendous ESPN 30 for 30 film recounts, June 17, 1994 was about as crazy as crazy gets. Does anyone here not remember where they were?

Bonus: USA Today tries to find Al Cowling's white Ford Bronco; CNN tracks down the key participants in the murder trial. (Gosh, I remember what a big deal it was when we had Christopher Darden! speaking at The Law School.)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!  There's not really much I can add to the Internet commentariat's reviews of last night's GoT season finale other than to say that I sure hope this Bran stuff is going somewhere, and that all that whining about That Thing That Didn't Happen Even Though It Happened In The Books has made it completely unavoidable, at least for me, to find out what That Shocking Thing was.

I will add this: The Big Swordfight was one of the best "fuck, marry, or kill each other?" fights I've ever seen in any medium, ridiculously tense, fun, and exciting.  And yes, I'm very much in when are we going to get to the fireworks factory? mode with Dany, but it's going to happen, right?

HEY, SOUL SISTER, THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS A FORMAL OFFER WHICH WOULD CREATE A CONTRACT IF ACCEPTED:  Train, everyone's favorite whipping boy of a band, has a new drummer, which we ordinarily wouldn't care about except that this drummer was (up till a few months ago) a Biglaw corporate associate.

THE PUZZLEMISTRESS PRESENTS:Have you noticed that the NYT Crossword feels a bit "hipper"of late?  Thank Will Shortz's new assistant, fresh out of Swarthmore, who's managed to work "Jansport" and "humblebrag,"into puzzles.

SEE, WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THOSE UP-TEMPO GODDAMN NUMBERS, MAN, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE THOSE TRANSITIONS, AND THEN YOU GOTTA GO INTO SOMEBODY DYING:  Rest in peace, Kemal Amin "Casey" Kasem, the genial voice of our Sunday mornings and afterschool cartoons. May you enjoy many Scooby Snacks in heaven.