At the intersection of all the annoying things a rock star can be—messianic, pretentious, vapid, dumb, old, creatively bankrupt, grandiose, utterly bereft of self-awareness, calcified into a grotesque oily wire-rack-in-the-grocery-store knockoff of himself, part of U2, et cetera—there sits Bono in his stupid housefly glasses, playing with his dick. He is, in the words of Deadspin’s own Tim Marchman, “the worst music man of all time.” He is puke, and I want to punch him in the ear.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
RANDY, PLAY THE BLUES: While others here do prefer their works, Deadspin's Albert Burneko does not care for U2:
Friday, July 31, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
LOOKING FOR A COMPLICATION: Yes, you may like Foo Fighters' "Learning to Fly," but now you may like it 250 times more.
YOU GET HOYNES: It's hard to think of a Previously.tv King of Disparate TV Things battle closer to this site's sweet spot than Carter and Lucy Get Stabbed vs. God the Feckless Thug.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
SPOILER: BETH DIES: From the "not making this up" desk--the CW is working on a pilot for a "hyper-stylized, gritty adaptation" of Little Women, produced by NCIS star Michael Weatherly, and set in a dysptopic Philadelphia.
OLD BAY OR NOTHING: New Lay's potato chip flavors on the market include New York Reuben, Kettle Cooked Greektown Gyro, Wavy West Coast Truffle Fries and Southern Biscuits and Gravy:
There wasn’t a lard to love about the Southern Biscuits and Gravy.
“If I had my eyes closed — which I always do in order to fully enjoy my biscuits and gravy — I would think these were merely herbed potato chips,” one scribe noted, of the chip loaded with rosemary flavoring.
“It tastes like Paula Deen’s armpit,” sneered another reporter.
Next up were the West Coast Truffle Fries. These chips packed the most crunch with the ridged exterior.
“These are tasty, but you’ll need a breath mint after,” commented a reporter.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
DON'T YOU CARRY NOTHIN' THAT MIGHT BE A LOAD: NBC's The Wiz: Live! will feature Mary J. Blige as Evillene and (more interestingly) Queen Latifah as The Wiz (a role typically played by a man).
WHATEVER IT IS, THEY DON'T TEACH IT IN LAW SCHOOL: Via Marsha, a Maryland appellate judge has cited to The Wire in a decision to explain why notes aren't always taken detailing the inner workings of criminal enterprises.
Monday, July 27, 2015
BEFORE YOU CAN BUY, YOU MUST PURIFY YOURSELF IN LAKE MINNETONKA: The house "The Kid" lived in in Purple Rain is up for sale.
BAND-AIDS DON'T FIX SCHEDULE HOLES: T-Swizzle has moved her scheduled Minute Maid Park concert from October to September because the Houston Astros players maybe gonna play, play, play, play, play in the playoffs.
(N.B. There seems to be a Disqus problem; I'm not sure if comments are working at present.)
(N.B. There seems to be a Disqus problem; I'm not sure if comments are working at present.)
Sunday, July 26, 2015
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