BUT WHAT OF THE SOUTHWICK JOG? The Awl explores some of America's strangest map borders. For more, see the Wiki page on border irregularities of the United States.

#15 -- MICHAEL VICK, MNF, WASHINGTON:  Joe Posnanski ranks the 14 most dominant individual performances in sports history.

BY THE DAWNZER LEE LIGHT: On a long weekend that gives us both the Fourth of July and Canada (you may cease rocking your body now, per Robin Sparkles), let's go with an appropriate playlist theme--songs that are about America (or your home country). I'll offer two to start us off--one from the fine folks behind South Park (NSFW!), and some Bruce (yes, I know if you listen to the lyrics, it's subversive and all, but still).

ON A PERSONAL NOTE: Friends, if you've got sharp, uncontrollable pain on the side of your lower back, radiating to the front where it feels kinda like constipation and mostly like you'd like to die, and the nausea and pain has gotten to a point where you're wondering if you should go to the hospital—go to the hospital.  You might have a kidney stone, as I learned two nights ago.

I say this not to attract your sympathy, even on the apparently-I-can't-drink-so-much-iced-tea-anymore front, but rather to relay a simple message: being macho is overrated. Doctors and nurses are good. They have morphine. It gets better.

WILL IT FEATURE THE B SHARPS AND HERE COMES TREBLE? Jason Moore, best known for directing "Avenue Q" and "Shrek The Musical," as well as directing episodes of Everwood and Brothers and Sisters will make his feature debut with Pitch Perfect, "a musical comedy set in the world of college a cappella groups" produced by Elizabeth Banks and her husband, with a screenplay from Kay Cannon (who wrote the "Jackie Jormp-Jomp" episode of 30 Rock). I'm quite sure that alone has already sold many of y'all tickets--but who (aside from NPH and Anne Hathaway) needs to appear in this movie?

"THE BACK IS A GREAT CANVAS": It's not just for manscaping anymore -- enter the world of Hairy Back Art.

SIMPLE ANSWERS TO BASIC QUESTIONS: Via frequent reader Megan:

I'm a frequent reader of the blog and have noticed you spend some time on grammar issues. Just wondered what you think of the word, "agreeance". As in, "I am in agreeance with you." My aunt insists it's proper word usage, but I think it makes a whole lot more sense to just say, "I agree." 

The word is in the dictionary, but I just think it's stupid and would love to have some back up that agrees with me, since my whole family has taken to using the word/phrase just to annoy me.

This is not a word.  Webster's 3d Unabridged doesn't recognize it; it apparently was popularized at the 2003 Grammy Awards when Fred Durst stated "I just hope we are in agreeance that this war should go away as soon as possible," but he has no more power to make this a word than he did to render "biskit" "bizkit" as a proper spelling. The word is "agreement," and don't let those Oxford twits tell you otherwise.

CLARENCE DOESN'T LEAVE THE E STREET BAND WHEN HE DIES. HE LEAVES WHEN WE DIE: That's just part of Bruce Springsteen's eulogy for Clarence Clemons, and if you haven't seen that or the lengthy tributes on Backstreets.com, you should.

But Bruce's words do occasion the question which has been on my mind: what does this mean for the E Street Band? Should they just retire any song with a prominent saxophone part? Play them, but without Clarence's part? Replace him, if not immediately but eventually? None of the answers are good ones; they were all supposed to retire together, and instead we've lost Clemons and Danny Federici in the past few years. Too damn soon.

DAN PATRICK AND I USED TO HAVE FART WARS UPSTAIRS. WE'D TYPE IN OUR LITTLE CUBICLES, THEN GO DOWN TO THE NEWSROOM AND DO BATTLE... I WAS MORE ABOUT SOUND; HE WAS MORE ABOUT FURY:  That's from ESPN anchor Gary Miller as part of Those Guys Have All The Fun, the new oral history of the network by Shales and Miller that I believe many of us have been reading of late. Noel Murray notes, however, and I tend to agree:

Reading Those Guys Have All The Fun reminded me how much I used to enjoy ESPN, and how much the network has contributed—positively—to the coverage of sports on television. But it also reminded me of how much more entertaining ESPN was when it was catering to its dozen or so weird niches by showing logging competitions at 3 a.m. instead of yet another SportsCenter repeat. In those early days, the staff was making up the rules on the fly.... For the first 15 or so years, right through that early-’90s peak, ESPN had an infectious fannish side that made the whole world of sports seem more fun. These days, perhaps driven by that overabundance of bosses, the network is making sports seem too much like a day at the office.

Added:  Someone may be buying the film rights.

SOME BANDS I LIKE TO NAME CHECK, AND ONE OF THEM IS R.E.M.: Today, why not list something you like from the state of Georgia?

TELL US HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS NITE AND DAY: In ranking the awesomeness of all stage names in pop/rock music history, are we agreed that Al B. Sure! is at the bottom and The Edge nears the top?

[Prompted by a random tweet in my feed last night mentioning the former. Wikipedia informs me that the former Albert Brown's son is now an aspiring artist under the moniker Lil B Sure!.]

added: It occurs to me that the proper unit of measurement for the appropriateness of a stage name is the Ringo, wherein 1.0 Ringos represents a stage name as good as the former Richard Starkey. Ludacris, a/k/a Chris Bridges, rates 0.8 Ringos; Black Francis is 0.6 Ringos, and Frank Black 0.4 Ringos.

THE MASTER POP-ITICIAN:  Steven Hyden on Lady Gaga, Adele, Justin Timberlake and the changing nature of the pop music star. Good thinkpiece.

ANOTHER SPECIAL MIDWEEK VISIT TO THE ALOTT5MA GRAMMAR RODEO:  Why is it, Amanda Rice wants to know, that judges refer to objections as "sustained" or "overruled" rather than "granted" or "denied"?

HELLO CLEVELAND! Let me make sure I've got this right: it's June 27, and the Indians, Nationals and Pirates are all above .500?  And the Mariners, with the fewest runs scored in the American League (and barely above the bottom of the National League) are 1.5 games away from the playoffs?  What in the name of John Wockenfuss is going on here?

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS:  While it's ostensibly an article about constructing a better lobster roll, you'll want to read this piece from the folks at the Serious Eats Food Lab as a solid primer (with pictures) on how to cook lobster, period.  (As previously discussed, I do believe in the knife-in-head pre-dismemberment method.)

MATER D-PLUS:  Things I enjoyed during our viewing of Cars 2 more than the movie itself:

• The Toy Story: Hawaiian Vacation short. Witty, smart, classic Pixar.
• The Lion King 3D extended preview. No, it's not necessary, but hot damn is it gorgeous.
• That brief glimpse of Brave.
• Holy crap, there's a 3D Morgan Freeman dolphin movie coming.
• The brief nod to Ratatouille during the Paris sequence.
• Closing my eyes and thinking of this picture of The Rock riding Splash Mountain, which remains awesome.

This is a loud movie which nevertheless put a 3 1/2 year old to sleep halfway through at 12:30 in the afternoon. It's real pretty, but in no way compelling.