HOW'S THE FAMILY?  Morris Day and The Time Should Have Won In Purple Rain:

You know that saying about how Fred Astaire made dancing look easy and Gene Kelly made it look impossible? Morris Day and The Time managed to do both at once. They are effortless and precise. They are a professional party. Now, if Prince had come on to “Baby I’m a Star” or even “I Would Die 4 U,” The Revolution would have put up a good fight. But no, they save those for the encore, and decide to battle with “Purple Rain,” a song that would have had everybody heading straight for the bathroom after flapping their arms around like loons to The Time.

RUBBERNECKING AT A DISASTER: I'll probably still see it (if just for the trainwreck-ness of it), but when even the (credited) director of your film tries to distance himself from it, that's not a good sign for Fantastic Four.  (It's been widely reported that Trank was largely pulled off the film, even though he still has director and co-writer credits.)

MY MY, HOW CAN I RESIST YOU?  Grierson/Leitch rank all 42 Meryl Streep performances, and you'll never guess which of her three roles opposite Kevin Kline comes out on top. (Ok: you will.)

THE MOUNTAIN, ESQ.: A lawyer in Staten Island has demanded his right to trial by combat.

NOW WE GOT PROBLEMS, AND I DON'T THINK WE CAN SOLVE THEM:  Shut up and find yourself a cheerleader, because we've come a long way since our last Song of the Summer and Vulture is ready to declare 2015 a multi-way draw, rather than make an explosion.

DON'T NOBODY BRING THEM NO BAD NEWS (ABOUT THE RATINGS): So, NBC went in a surprising direction and has cast an utter unknown as the lead for its The Wiz: Live! (Who's age-appropriate, unlike Diana Ross was.)  I do think this lends some credence to speculation that they want superstars for some of the roles--Glinda, Scarecrow, and the Tin Man--and it was rumored they were trying to get Beyonce as Glinda.

FROM THE ALOTT5MA UNCHOSEN CHOSEN PEOPLE DESK:  JDate is suing JSwipe over its use of the letter 'J'; no comment from JCrew or J-Lo.

MUPPET KAYFABE: Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have announced their amicable (?) parting of the ways.  So, #teamkermit or #teampiggy?