LIKELIHOOD OF CONFUSION DESK:  I went and saw Room this afternoon (exceedingly good performances from Larson, Tremblay, and Allen, but by the nature of moving from book to film, loses much of the narrative voice that made the book so fascinating).  About an hour into the film, just after the narrative takes its big turn (not spoiling!), an older couple enters the theater and takes seats a few seats down the aisle from me.  They are clearly perplexed by what they're watching--I can hear the woman at one point mumbling "so, wait, Jack is a boy?"  They proceed to sit through the remaining hour of the film, still clearly confused.  As the lights go up, they mutter to the theater attendants their displeasure--apparently, they had bought tickets to Bridge of Spies, and had gone into the wrong screen.  I'll admit that this theater is not the best labelled (it doesn't have fancy digital signs above the entry ways, just signs posted outside each screening room), but one would think that they might have figured out that they were in the wrong theater a little more quickly given that Room is entirely devoid of spies, Tom Hanks, and Cold War period things.

IT WILL BE NICE WORKING WITH PROPER VILLAINS AGAIN:  Yes, I want to see an all-female Oceans Eleven starring Sandra Bullock.

Here's one attempt to cast the rest (no, not everything needs Kristen Wiig -- how about giving Anna Faris a chance?), but I'm sure you'll have your own suggestions.

And while we're discussing Bullock, a gripe: I have significant interest in seeing Our Brand Is Crisis. Why the hell did they open it the weekend before Election Day, when the people who care most about elections can't see it?

WE'VE DECIDED TO PURSUE MORE TIME SHOWING PEOPLE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER:  ESPN is "suspending the publication" of Grantland effective today.

DO YOU THINK THE AVERAGE STORMTROOPER KNOWS HOW TO INSTALL A TOILET MAIN?  Why the destruction of Alderaan was completely justified:

First off, let’s dispense with the childish notion that Alderaan was, as rebel spy and intergalactic insurrectionist Princess Leia has argued, a purely civilian target. There is literally no reason to believe her claim that “Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons.” She had previously lied about not only the diplomatic nature of the mission she was on when she was captured but also about the location of the stolen Death Star plans. It’s also worth noting that she would go on to lie about the location of a military target for the Death Star to target moments before Alderaan was destroyed....

READY! SET! BAKE!  Vulture's Margaret Lyons couldn't help but wonder: would we enjoy any of the talent evaluation reality competitions more if there were no eliminations, and the final winner were decided on some accumulated points system?

Also, I apologize for not learning about The Great British Baking Show sooner. That, and Survivor, are the only reality shows left on my plate.

SOMETHING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO RETIREMENT:  Against all odds, Phil Collins has unretired. Do you care anymore?

MAKING IT HARDER TO BE SATISFIED: Ready for Hamilton tickets to get even harder to get?  The Rockefeller Foundation is buying 20,000 matinee tickets to the show (face value $70), and providing them to NYC public school students at $10 a head.  Students will be able to participate in talk backs with the cast, and they're building a study guide and curriculum around the show.

OHMIGOD, YOU GUYS!  Reese Witherspoon, who let's be honest doesn't have a ton of quality credits in the decade after Walk the Line, is willing to lace up her last season Prada shoes for Legally Blonde 3 and thinks "it’d be kind of a cool thing to have her be a Supreme Court justice or someone who runs for office, President?"

WE FEW, WE HAPPY FEW, WE BAND OF BROTHERS: Happy St. Crispian's Day!

THE PREMORSE TRAP:  Certainly, Maureen O'Hara has given me a case of premorse.  This is a woman who must have been died around the same time as Shelly Winters.