LE QUARTIER ANACOSTIA N’EST PAS RECOMMANDABLE DE JOUR COMME DE NUIT:  Are you traveling to the United States? Are you French?  Your government has some advice for you.  (HT: WaPo.)

NOT OKAY, LESS THAN AWESOME: Spurred by the high ratings HIMYM has continued to get and the issues it's had with newer comedies on Monday, CBS has officially ordered a pilot of How I Met Your Dad, which will focus on another group of friends who hang out at McLaren's, with an entirely new cast.  (No, this won't be a "flip side" story of the show led by Miliotti.)  Seems like a safe bet that it'll be leading off CBS Mondays next fall.  (That said, during pilot season last year, Beverly Hills Cop and NCIS: Red sure sounded like slamdunks.)

THEY WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO APPEAL ANY VERDICT, BUT GOOD LUCK WITH THAT:  The work of SFBatKid Miles has resulted in an indictment being filed in United States v. Edward Nigma and Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot. Indeed, there was heroism all over the Bay Area today, and if this results in other cities engaging in copycat efforts to enrich the lives of deserving children in their midst, I think that would be fantastic.

JUST KEEP THE CYANIDE AWAY:  It may sound like one of those #slatepitches, but actually it's The Atlantic arguing that you can totally eat an apple's core, especially if you eat it vertically.

MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH (REDACTED FOR SPOILERS): Speaking of trailers, Lifetime has released a trailer for its upcoming remake of Flowers In The Attic, including a creepy "Sweet Child O'Mine" cover and Heather Graham doing high camp.

WHAT'S A CUBIT?  First trailer for Darren Aronofsky's Noah, with Russell Crowe in the title role, Sir Anthony Hopkins as grandpa Methuselah, and a whole lot of water in the third act.

...BUT IT DIDN'T KNOW YOU THEN:  Mazel tov to our friend Paul Tabachneck, who is no longer single because he released a single, having successfully proposed to his girlfriend last week employing this here music video for a new song he created for the occasion.

REMEMBER THE SCHWAB: Ten great somewhat-forgotten game shows (and it's not a slideshow).

OUR KING SHALL GATHER ALL HIS STRENGTH/AND DUNK ON FORTUNE'S ASS:  Via Hang Up and Listen, The Tragedy of King James the First by Michael Salomon, a Shakespearean retelling of The Decision.  The opening soliloquy of Gilbert, excerpted here, provides context:

A curse of nature never known by man
for two-score years hath ravished our fair town.
From Erie’s banks spreads only wretched woe,
which festers in the bleak and barren ground. 

ARE YOU GOOFIN' ON ELVIS?  So, apparently, at Monday night's Andy Kaufman Awards, Kaufman's brother alleged that Andy faked his own death in 1984, and introduced Andy's "daughter."

ETA:  Yep, hoax. 

NO, BROTHER WEST, IT WAS AN ACT OF WHIMSY:  In a move so smart it's somewhat shocking NBC has made it, Maya Rudolph's getting a post-Olympics variety special with the potential to go full series.

COERCED GOAT MARRIAGES:  While our friend Linda Holmes points out the many fundamental flaws of The Sound of Music (seriously, Maria, they're calling you a problem at your own wedding?), focusing on the film, I'd like to draw your attention to how many of your favorite things are different in the film compared to the staged version which will be performed on NBC.

THERE GOES FRITZ!  Slate's Ben Blatt uses game theory, and a whole lot of review of pricing game results, to develop strategies for dominance on The Price Is Right without knowing a single price, yielding a detailed two-page cheat sheet. For instance, when you're on Contestants' Row:

Game theory says that when you are last to bid, you should bid one dollar more than the highest bidder. You obviously won’t win every time, but in the last 1,500 Contestants' Rows to have aired, had final bidders committed to this strategy, they would have won 54 percent of the time. Instead, last bidders too often rely on their intuition, or on suggestions called out by delirious audience members. As a result, they have won only 35 percent of the time. Contestants in this sample of 1,500 who guessed a value between the highest and second-highest current guesses... win only 20 percent of the time. 

A CRIMINAL RECORD, A RADIO SHOW, AND A SUCCESSFUL LINE OF TOMATO SAUCE: The twenty-four most Rhode Island things to ever happen.

IT WAS THE MACARONS:  The winner of the totally delightful Masterchef Junior tells all.

THEY DO LIKE THE UMLAUT UP THERE:  Based on the number of metal bands per capita, apparently Norway, Sweden, and Finland are the most metal countries in the world.

WHATCHU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS TOWER?  The Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat (yes, this is actually a thing) has ruled that the feature on the top of the new One World Trade Center is a "spire" and not an "antenna," thus allowing that building (once it opens) to overtake Chicago's Willis Tower as the tallest building in the US. 

AS YOU WISH:Even though a prior effort to musicalize it fell apart at a late stage over money disputes, William Goldman has signed with Disney theatrical to bring The Princess Bride to the stage.  Dreamcast away! (Christian Borle as Humperdinck?  Joel Grey as Grandpa?  Colin Donnell as Westley?)

IT WILL LOOK LIKE THE DEAL IS DEAD. DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT:  If you woke up this morning like our Atlanta-area fans wondering just why your Braves are moving to Cobb County (this graphic suggests one reason), or just happen to be a reader who owns a professional sports team and is looking for a place for it to play, here's a handy twenty-step guide to getting the public to pay for your new stadium.

WE'RE OFF TO OUTER SPACE, WE'RE LEAVING MOTHER EARTH:  Matt Zoller Seitz's list of great tv series (and episodes) "you probably haven't seen" decidedly includes some which many here have.

(And guess what?  The movie is still moving forward.  We've only got one year!)

SHADE, SHE THREW: Angela Lansbury may be 88, but that doesn't mean she can't be a little upset about NBC's proposed Murder, She Wrote reboot.  (And I kind of agree--detective show starring Octavia Spencer as an amateur sleuth sounds like a fine idea, but no Jessica Fletcher and it's not Murder, She Wrote.)

WE DIDN'T LOSE VIETNAM. IT WAS A TIE!  The Dissolve's Mike D'Angelo reviews Kevin Kline's turn on A Fish Called Wanda and the other top supporting acting performances of 1988. "Otto is just such a sui generis creation," he writes, "an absurdist embodiment of American idiocy as seen through English eyes, vulgar yet weirdly graceful, prone to venting his frustration (“I’m disaPPOINTED!!!”) with leaps and kicks that would look at home in a big Broadway dance number."