I CAN READ, TOO, I JUST DON'T NEED TO BRAG ABOUT IT LIKE STING DOES:  If Ozzy Osbourne wants to list his Top Ten Metal Albums, I am going to listen.

WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? A glorious rant against waiting at restaurants for brunch:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah you, the person waiting in line at a breakfast restaurant. 

You got nothing better to do at 9am on a Saturday morning? Wait in line for 45 minutes to eat a pancake? It’s a God damn mother fucking PANCAKE. You got nothing going on? Life is that easy you can wait in line for a pancake?...