I MAY HAVE A LAW DEGREE, BUT I THINK LIKE A CRIMINAL:  You know me well enough to know that I don't blog about every attorney's publicity-seeking web ad, but this one is special.

added: Thankfully, Dan talks to Slate.

THERE, RIGHT THERE!  My 2014 tour of regional high school spring musicals with the girls will begin this weekend with Tina Fey's alma mater's production of Legally Blonde, which I hadn't realized would be quite such a controversial transfer to the educational arena. In Loveland, Ohio,  a school's musical director was fired in 2012 for her production:

Students were permitted to finish the run of Legally Blonde (which received standing ovations after each performance), but Hansen was ultimately reprimanded by the administration, she says, for "going against the school's code of conduct." Kloesz, according to Hansen, cited "bootie-bounce dance moves" and the use of the word "skank" in the script. Loveland, along with most schools across the U.S., has a strict no-alcohol policy, and Hansen was cited for a scene in the musical that includes a champagne party involving a group of buttoned-up Harvard University students. She pointed out that it was not staged as a rowdy college party. 

Officials were careful about negatively characterizing the courtroom scene "There! Right There!" (also known as the "Gay, or European" moment), according to Hansen, who noted that the school has an LGBT club. "That issue was brought up to me verbally, but was not in any written paperwork," she said.

WANT:  Shot glasses made of chocolate chip cookie, filled with milk. From the maker of that croissant-donut hybrid.

WHEN DID THIS CITY GET SO MUSICAL?  First trailer for the Jamie Foxx-Quvenzhané Wallis-Cameron Diaz Annie remake is now online.

Warbucks is now "Benjamin Stacks," and he's a wealthy politician seeking to exploit a sassy foster child as part of an election campaign. Rose Byrne is Grace, but no sign of Rooster, Lily St. Regis, or the Lovely Boylan Sisters.

COULD BE? WHO KNOWS?  Steven Spielberg might be interested in remaking West Side Story.

In vaguely related news, I didn't know until I saw that next-year's-Oscars preview that Clint Eastwood had directed a Jersey Boys film for release this summer.

ME AND RICHARD GOT TO BE PRETTY GOOD FRIENDS. NOT IN A HOMOSEXUAL WAY, THAT'S FOR SURE: For March, Vulture is doing a juried bracket competition featuring the top 16 reality seasons of all time, including the absolutely correct seasons for ANTM (2), Survivor (1), Top Chef (6-Vegas), and The Real World (SF); possibly correct for Amazing Race (they went with Chip/Kim v Colin/Christie; I might have gone with FloZac and the ModelTwins) and Project Runway (they said 2, I say 1); and no-way-correct on American Idol, for which they went with Clay-Ruben instead of The Battle of the Davids.

MIA: Hard Knocks, Joe Millionaire, The Joe Schmo Show.

MIGHTY MIGHT NOT: So I guess you didn't like McDonalds' chicken wings, so they're selling off the remaining 10 million pounds of frozen wings to consumers at a 40% discount.  “The original price point wasn’t as competitive as it could have been,” according to a spokesperson, which is another way of saying that their appeal has become more selective than anticipated.

NOMINATE WORMTAIL!   It's apparently not too soon to start predicting next year's Oscar nominees. Yes, I am fascinated by the notion that Steve Carell can win an Oscar despite having never won an Emmy for The Office.

KIDS...  So about last night's HIMYPDM, let's use this Vulture hypothesis as a starting point:

#TEAMHOLMES:  Philadelphia's WHYY is running a PBS vs. NPR March Madness bracket featuring first-round matchups for you to vote on including Kai Ryssdal vs. Robert Siegel, MacNeil & Lehrer vs. Bert &Ernie, Scott Simon vs. Melissa Block, and the Magliozzi brothers vs. Jad Abumrad & Robert Krulwich.

added: In other news, Carl Kassel will retire this spring and serve as Scorekeeper Emeritus of W,W...DTM!

THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME, ANYWAY:  Idina Menzel. The Roots. Classroom instruments.

IF PHILIP MICHAEL THOMAS CAN DO IT, WHY CAN'T US?  Liza Minnelli (1973), Helen Hunt (1998), and Helen Mirren (2007) have each won Oscar and Emmy Awards for performances during the same calendar year. Matthew McConaughey is widely expected to do the same later this year, because True Detective.  We need a name for this feat.

ADELE DAZEEM:  Oscar reax? (Seriously, Travolta, WTF?)