NOTHING PORTENTOUS OR POLITE: It's comedy tonight, with Bill Cosby taking to the airwaves of Comedy Central for his first televised special since the year before the Cosby Show debuted and Sarah Silverman performing "We Are Miracles" over on the HBO. But before you settle in for a night of laughs and Jell-o Pudding Pops, Flavorwire has a list of the 50 Funniest Stand-Up Specials of All Time.

"SUCKERS THEY BE SAYING THEY CAN TAKE OUT ADAM HOROVITZ," OR "JOCKIN' MIKE D TO MY DISMAY":  Much like the recently-filed Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke v. Gaye lawsuit, the makers of GoldieBlox have preemptively sued the Beastie Boys and Rick Rubin to assert that their super-awesome viral video is protected by the doctrine of fair use:

18. In the lyrics of the Beastie Boys’ original song, girls are limited (at best) to household chores, and are presented as useful only to the extent they fulfill the wishes of the male singers. The girls are objects. The Goldie Blox Girls Parody Video takes direct aim at the song both visually and with a revised set of lyrics celebrating the many capabilities of girls. Set to the tune of Girls by the Beastie Boys but with a new recording of the music and new lyrics, girls are heard singing an anthem celebrating their broad set of capabilities—exactly the opposite of the message of the original. GoldieBlox Girls are the subjects; they are the actors taking charge of their environment. 

THE TRUEST OF GRIFFYNDORS:  Emily Asher-Perrin explains why the most important character in the Harry Potter universe is Neville Longbottom.

B EFFIN G:  Your December pairings for SNL are Paul Rudd/One Direction (December 7), John Goodman/Kings of Leon (December 14), and Jimmy Fallon/Justin Timberlake (December 21).  It's Goodman's 13th hosting appearance, and first since 2001.

DIRNDL AT 1:15:  Fuller The Sound of Music promo, including explicit confirmation that this is a televised version of the stage production, not a remake of the movie.

HELP, I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN:  50 Songs That Are Guaranteed to Make You Cry. (no slideshow!)

ALOTT5MA FRIDAY GRAMMAR RODEO SPECIAL BELATED 11TH BLOGIVERSARY WEDNESDAY EDITION:  Gee, thanks, Internet: you've turned because into a preposition. It's wrong, because ... rules?

BABY LOOK AT ME, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE:  ESPN's David Schoenfield lists five baseball players who most improved their HOF cases in 2013.

I WANT MY DYLAN TV: If you haven't seen the new interactive music video for "Like a Rolling Stone" by who New York Magazine describes as the "Taylor Swift of the early 60s," prepare to lose a good 30 minutes of whatever productive time you thought you might still have today. (My favorite performers are the talking head professors on the History Network.)

CHECKING IT TWICE:  I realize that there's something a little more "receivey" than "givey" in posting here just to ask for offspring-gift-selection advice, but I strongly suspect that many would benefit from some ideas for what to buy the ThingThrowers of the future.  So my own question follows, and I appreciate any and all ideas, but please do feel free to use the comments to seek and/or dispense wisdom on Festive Winter Holiday gifts more generally.*  (Yes, yes, I know, Thanksgivukkah is sweeping the nation, but it's just too forced.  Except for Gobble Tov.  Which is awesome.)

My quandary:  Cosmo Girl (age 10) will be receiving an electronic gift with a high wow factor for Christmas. (Hint:  it starts with an i and is a phone.)  Cosmo Boy (age 7) will not be receiving a similar high-wow-factor-possessing electronic gift and will no doubt be bummed about it.  I need suggestions for amazing gifts for boys in the 7-10 age range, so that Cosmo Boy's lack of fabulous electronica this Christmas will not unduly sadden him.  Any ideas?

* I suggest not using the comments to solicit gift ideas for your significant other if said significant other is a Thrower of Things, because that would be dumb.

HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT: Slate claims to have constructed the most efficient way to answer one of the most troubling questions of our time--"Where's Waldo?"

WAY DOWN IN THE PRICE: I suspect some may be interested to know that at least for today, the complete series of The Wire is available on DVD today for $28.34 (including tax and shipping), which is less than 50 cents an episode.

ETA:  Because of massive attention to this (it also wouldn't shock me if there was a mistake at the vendor end with the price being low), the sale ended early.  (I managed to get my order in.)

LISTICLE WAS PWNED:  "Selfie" is the Oxford University Press word of the year, besting binge-watch, bitcoin, twerk, and others.  (Query: is the plural of bitcoin "bitcoins"?)

NO, IT'S NOT APRIL 1: Allegedly, plans are afoot for an authorized/official sequel to It's A Wonderful Life. 

FORTY WHACKS:  Flowers In The Attic is not the only reason to be watching Lifetime this winter--there's also a Christina Ricci-fronted Lizzie Borden movie arriving in January, and the poster has possibly the greatest tagline ever.

MAY THE COOKIES BE EVER IN YOUR FLAVOR: Sesame Street does The Hunger Games--unclear whether who they've cast as Peeta has more or less charisma than Josh Hutcherson.

BEFORE THE NEXT CLUE STANDS A DOORKEEPER. TO THIS DOOR-KEEPER THERE COMES A MAN FROM THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS AND PRAYS FOR ADMITTANCE TO THE NEXT CLUE:  Next season of The Amazing Race is an All-Star season, with three returning teams from far enough back that it was when I was still avidly watching.