JURY'S STILL OUT ON IF IT'S BETTER THAN KELSEY GRAMMER'S "MACBETH:" In our continuing effort to bring you bad reviews from around the world of entertainment, we branch out and offer you theatre reviews of the latest from New York. "Dracula: The Musical" opened last night, and the papers are already running out of "suck" puns to invoke in connection with it.

The New York Post says:

"Dracula" is dreadfully bad, but falls short of the awfulness that would lift it to the level of fun camp. . . . The book, such as it is, rarely rises above the level of cliché, except for such utterances as: "I ain't been on tenterhooks like this since that night we were waiting for the tiger to come for that tethered goat down in Sumatra!". . . This may be the first version of Dracula in which he's killed not so much by a stake to the heart as by an insipid ballad.

The Washington Post?

What "Dracula, the Musical" vividly demonstrates is that it may be time to drive a stake through the whole overexposed vampire genre. Fans and commentators have always remarked on the Count's fatal powers of attraction. Who knew that included the ability to bore you to death?

The Associated Press?

"Dracula, The Musical" is an anemic, inert attempt to make the world's most famous vampire sing. And what takes place on stage at Broadway's Belasco Theatre is enough to send the poor guy flying back to Transylvania, bat wings flapping.

The topper may be Ben Brantley in The New York Times:

[The show has] all the animation, suspense and sex appeal of a Victorian waxworks in a seaside amusement park. . . . [It] isn't simply bad, which is an aesthetic state of being that is kind of fun if you're in the right mood. (Gee, remember the ripely terrible "Dance of the Vampires"?) It is bad and boring.

Closing date not yet scheduled, but "Carrie" closed in less than a week, so buy your tickets now.

U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT PRINTS LIES: Just saying, is all.

SHE SAID SHE WANTED A GOLD MEDAL AS MUCH AS SHE WANTED TO MOTHER HER OWN CHILD: I'm not a fan of Olympic gymnastics the way I am of the winter counterpart, figure skating. I think it's because figure skating's manuevers are all done at a higher rate of speed, making the whole thing more fluid and watchable, and because the competitors tend to stick around a lot longer. Forget about Michelle Kwan's ridiculously long career -- do you realize that Elvis Stojko competed in four straight Olympics?

Finally, there's nothing organic about gymnastics -- while we all, some day, might need to get somewhere quickly, or swim there, or throw an object accurately for a distance, or lift a large weight, you and I are never going to walk up to a set of uneven bars on the street and say, hey!, let me swing myself around them for a while. Or, wow, that's a really narrow beam there -- not only am I going to walk across it, I'm going to do flips along the way!

Still, three elements made tonight's women's finals compelling viewing:

1. KHORKINA! Diva to the last drop, with legs as long as her rivals are tall, she makes this all worth watching.

2. I like all the nonsense choreography and vogue-ing during the floor exercises, especially those silly poses they make at the end of their routines. And the spirit fingers.

3. Most of all tonight, and maybe I'm a sadist, but the imbalance beam ruled. Rarely do so many talented athletes find so many interesting ways to screw up landings that they've practiced thousands of times. I'm not talking about failed-to-stick-the-landing errors; there were full flops on the floor tonight like Lasorda at the All-Star Game.

This thread is open for all Olympic discussion.

KAZURINSKY FOR SENATE: Yes, Joe Piscopo is thinking of running for Governor of New Jersey. Well, given that his recent roles include a supporting role in a post-modern adaptation of "Bartleby, The Scrivener" starring Crispin Glover and touring the country as a Frank Sinatra impersonator, it might be a step up.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE: Greatest bear of the 21st century -- is it current champion Trampoline Bear or our new challenger, Drunk Bear?

CELLULOID CHIP: I haven't seen this discussed here before and I apologize if this is something well known, but it's news to me that "Amazing Race 5" isn't the first time current front runner Chip has been in front of the camera. You won't find any reference to Chip's acting in his official "TAR" bio, but there it is over at IMDB: a starring role in a short-lived CBS 1986 sitcom "Better Days" (is that him on the left?), a spot in the late-night cable classic "Hamburger the Motion Picture," opposite Dick Butkus, and the critical part of the young Muhammad Ali in 1977's "The Greatest," which starred the Champ, himself.

Incidentally, Christie, too, has done a little acting.

HEY KID, CATCH: Hard to argue with ESPN25's pick for the Best Sports Commercial of the last quarter century, which in case you didn't catch the reference is the classic Coke spot in which a plucky youngster gives manages to cheer up Mean Joe Greene with a bottle of the aforementioned cola and in return receives a game-used jersey.

Nos. 2-7, indeed, are all classics, though the Bob Uecker ("I must be in the front row") and Be Like Mike should be higher. But Yao-Yo at No. 7? That pick begins some dubious choices, which result in some classics such as "I Am Tiger Woods" and John Madden's Miller Lite spots coming in lower than they should have.

Omissions? I would have liked to have seen that Nike spot from earlier in the year in which Lance Armstrong, Brian Urlacher, Andre Agassi, and others play other sports. Otherwise I'm sure there are some great ones missing. I'm not sure if they had to have a celeb angle, but that Nike "Love Hurts" spot from a few years back was great, too. Also, check out this Armstrong spot.

Which of your favorites didn't make the list? Also any cringe-worthy spots you're glad are missing? I think we can be happy Da Coach throwing the ball through the tire and those Chunky Soups spots with NFL stars' moms didn't merit consideration.

And one last note, the Blog will again be "listless" as I take leave for a long weekend traveling to the North Woods of Wisconsin with my son to attend to Family Camp. I should be back Tuesday, though considering the forecast, I could be back sooner.