SO DOES THIS MAKE THEO EPSTEIN LUKE SKYWALKER? Sadly, the New York Times doesn't put all the ads appearing in the paper on the Internet, and I don't have a scanner, or I'd link to it, so my recounting will have to suffice. On page 2 of today's Sports section, an ad for the Star Wars Trilogy DVD appeared. Of course, since I'm a big old geek, I'll be getting those soon. But it's the ad itself that's brilliant. The ad is a big picture of Darth Vader's head. Above it appears the phrase "Proud To Be On The Dark Side." Beneath it, it says "Go Yankees!" Below that appears a small plug for the DVD release. Brilliant ad, though maybe it would have worked better in the Boston Globe.

IF THEY'RE NOT GIVING IT TO WILLIAM SHATNER'S "THE TRANSFORMED MAN," SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG: I was in the Lincoln Center Tower Records this evening after going to a Q&A/reading by a very funny author, and something kind of odd happened--they keep a series of CDs on "rotate," and a fitting tribute came up. First, we began with the immortal "Hey, Ho! Let's Go!" beginning of the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop." As those two minutes of fury wrapped up, up came the immortal strains of Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" (as covered by Guns 'n' Roses). A fitting farewell to Johnny, indeed.

That leads me nicely into a discussion topic for the weekend--"Entertainment Weekly" has proclaimed that "London Calling" by the Clash is the best album ever. I've never listened to "London Calling," so I'm not really equipped to criticize, but I'm going to make a couple of suggestions that might be better:

The Who--"Tommy"--One of the greatest concept albums ever (if not the greatest), and a demonstration of amazing range by one of the greatest bands of that "Classic Rock" era.

U2--"The Joshua Tree"--It's hard to believe this album is nearly 15 years old--if you pop it in your CD player, it sounds like it might have been recorded yesterday. If the competition were strongest lead-off songs, I think this'd have to have it locked up--is there a better start than the swirling guitar and wailing of Bono in "Where The Streets Have No Name," into the anger and joy of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," and then Bono pleading in "With or Without You?"

Other suggestions are, as always, invited.

GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT: Since a frightening amount of our recent hits seem to be coming from people Googling "My Ox is broken!" I feel obliged to tell you that you can buy this, in button or magnet form, from the fine folks over at Glarkware. From this link, you can also tell Mirna to shut up, and note that "I got hit in the head with drywall...and now you're a racist." Buy today.

LAY OFF THE PORK CHOPS AND APPLESAUCE: Replaying all this week on a cable channel you probably don't even know if you receive or not: Discovery Health Channel's "Body Challenge: Hollywood," in which Peter and Cindy Brady square off against the likes of Ponch (no jokes, please), Charlene Tilton, Kym Whitley (me neither), and the chubby guy with the glasses from "Malcolm in the Middle" to see who can get themselves back in shape. No word on whether Peter was spurred to get back in shape in order to face down his and Cindy's former nemesis, Buddy Hinton.

THE MINOR FALL, THE MAJOR LIFT, THE 70TH BIRTHDAY: Leonard Cohen turns 70 on Tuesday, so, while you're enjoying you're tea and oranges this weekend, peruse this list, courtesy of the Guardian, of 70 Things You Might Not Know About the Godfather of Gloom. Here is but a sample:

5. Cohen's albums regularly go to no. 1 in Norway.
48. In 1986, he made a guest appearance in Miami Vice as a character named François Zolan, head of Interpol.
66. Cohen was much admired in 1960s France. The president, Georges Pompidou, was reputed to take his LPs on holiday, and it was said that if a Frenchwoman owned one record, it was likely to be by Cohen.

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE: By now, no doubt, most of you have seen the news that yet another Ramone, Johnny Ramone, passed away earlier this week. But unless you read all the way to the bottom of the article, you missed the surreal part of Johnny's death--the proverbial "friends and loved ones" he found himself in the company of as he slipped this mortal coil:

"Along with his wife, Linda Cummings, Johnny Ramone was surrounded at his death by friends, including Pearl Jam rocker Eddie Vedder, singer Rob Zombie and others. Other friends who gathered at his Los Angeles home included Lisa Marie Presley, Pete Yorn, Vincent Gallo and Talia Shire."

GRANTED, THEMS WAS SOME FIERY ISLANDS: I am left with two questions following the premiere of the new Survivor:

1. Who, exactly was the producer who was capable of negotiating with the locals to (a) explain to them what television was; (b) explain was 'reality tv' was; and (c) arrange for an Authentic Native Ritual that would not involve Whitey getting pummeled? Were they paid? Did they have any idea what they were consenting to? Did they get to eat the pig?

2. Is it even possible that this show's going to be interesting until they merge? I've sat through (most of) eight seasons already, and this picking-off-the-too-weak-or-too-strong nonsense is pretty tiresome already. Wake me when they get to ten or something.