YES, BUT DO THE SNOZZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZZBERRIES? We've wondered for more than a year whether Johnny Depp could fill Willy Wonka's shoes. Well, here's the first trailer for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, director Tim Burton's summer 2005 release. You tell us.

TMI. WAY TMI: Well, based on the voting in the earlier thread, the winner of my first ALOTT5MA Award is (drum roll!) Comedy Central (applause!). If a representative of Comedy Central contacts us (e-mail address is on the left), we'll make arrangements to get you your statue, which I'm sure will be every bit as lovely and valuable as a Golden Raspberry statue and which an ALOTT5MA representative would be happy to present to you on "The Daily Show," especially if you offer us one of those sweet correspondent gigs.

And now, we turn to another category--Most Painfully Overexposed Female "Celebrity." This award is designed to award the person about whom we've learned far more than we need--be it in interviews, photography, or even through literary achievement--particularly in proportion to any actual achievement or talent (which is why Lindsay Lohan is not on the list). The nominees are:

Toni Bentley--I've not read her book, but this Salon interview more than qualifies her for the category, as did her incessant publicity junket for the book, covered by every "alternative" magazine and website in America. Minus points for using a "butt double" on the cover of her book by stealing the opening shot of "Lost In Translation."

Jessica Cutler--AKA "The Washingtonienne," whose blog caused a stir in Washington when she disclosed more than you or I might like to know about her nighttime activities. Wonkette straddled and rode the story throughout.

Paris Hilton--Gawker archives chronicle Hilton's series of tabloid adventures, ranging from hooking up with apparently every B and C list actor in America and the release of her film debut "One Night In Paris."

Tara Reid--E! Online eloquently summarizes the basis for her nomination, though Reid does buy a little goodwill as a result of her recurring role on "Scrubs" earlier this year.

Anna Nicole Smith--Basically a "lifetime achievement" nomination, but worthy of a nomination for that incident at the American Music Awards.

There are folks who came close (Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Mischa Barton), but these are my five. Vote and say what I missed.

THAT WASN'T THE KIND OF "EXPERIENCE" I WAS LOOKING FOR: Now, really, I can’t be the only one wondering how “Apprentice” candidate Jennifer managed to tout her management expertise based on law firm experience when her law firm experience was at the late Brobeck Phleger & Harrison, a firm which collapsed due to utter financial mismanagement, and more recently at Clifford Chance Rogers & Wells, which has had financial mismanagement problems of its own. In any event, I think the outcome of next week's live finale is already clear.

A/K/A "WELCOME TO THE UA RIVERVIEW": Philadelphia City Councilman Jim Kenney wants to make it illegal for parents to bring their screaming kids to evening movies.

Tell us about a movie you saw in the theaters where it was really inappropriate for parents to have brought their children.

AND FOR THAT MATTER, THAT DIMAGGIO GUY HASN'T DONE MUCH LATELY: It is the traditional end-of-year awards time here at ALOTT5MA, and each of the five of us will, as befits his fancy, be nominating and/or presenting in whatever categories he sees fit.

My first one is Most Disappeared Celebrity of 2004, given to the formerly famous person who has most completely vanished from the public's consciousness. Past winners include Matthew McConaughey, Joe Pesci, Dana Carvey and 2003's winner, Rupert Everett, who quickly moved from Leading Man to Host Of Primetime Lingerie Special.

For this year, as I've previously hinted, I can find no more worthy celebrity than Winona Ryder, who has gone from Gen X goddess to leading lady to convicted criminal to . . . who? oh yeah, her. With the shoplifting. She still in jail?

The last movie she was in that anyone saw was the failed Adam Sandler vehicle, Mr. Deeds, and before that you have to go back almost five years to when she had any significant work -- Autumn in New York (a/k/a Sweet November But With Two Other People) and Girl, Interrupted (a/k/a It's Like Prozac Nation, Except That It Made It To Theaters and, boy, did I come close to giving this award to Christina Ricci).

You don't think of her as an actress any more, and barely even think of her as a personality. Go ahead: do you still remember everyone she dated?

There was once a time that Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were equals. Today, he's still a mega-star, and the tattoo that once read "Winona Forever" on his arm has been edited to read "Wino Forever". He's long moved on, and so has America.

Goodbye, Winona, and wherever you've gone, please give Natasha Lyonne our best.

WHEN WE KILL ALL THE LAWYERS, THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST: Our legally-inclined readers may want to vote in Legal Affairs' "Top 20 Legal Thinkers in America" poll here, which includes people I've taken classes from (Derrick Bell and Stephen Gillers), people to whom I've cited in publications (Bruce Ackerman and Cass Sunstein), people whose blogs I read regularly (Eugene Volokh) and occasionally (Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit and Larry Lessig), and the rather inexplicable (John Grisham). I haven't voted yet (you choose 5 from the list), but I think I'm going to go with Ackerman, Lessig, Bell, Lawrence Tribe, and Richard Posner, not all of whom I agree with, but all whom are worth reading. Discussion is invited.

LATE TO THE PARTY: When I used to work in an office, the editor in the adjoining cube was, for lack of a better description, a hipster when it came to new music. This was a boon to me, as he re-invigorated my ossifying music tastes, introducing me to many great bands such as the Shins, Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, and the Avalanches. There was one CD he'd play though, whose odd syncopation would somehow constantly cut through the office's white noise and irritate me, Modest Mouse's "The Moon & Antarctica." So, when Modest Mouse released "Good News For People Who Love Bad News" to widespread acclaim earlier this year, I ignored, reminded solely of having to ask Scott to turn the volume down on his computer. Finally, I picked it up at the local library (which has turned into my property-tax funded personal version of Napster), and if this isn't the best CD released in 2004 not by a faded country legend, I don't know what is.

All of this is a roundabout way to say that The Onion's best albums of 2004 are up, and Modest Mouse, along with Kanye West, are the only artists to show up on at least three of the six critics lists.