AND IT WASN'T EVEN SPRING BREAK: Apparently America has a new major public health--teenage girls going wild. As one observer said--"It just seemed like a girl frenzy."

SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, DO NOT TRY TO FIGHT THE SEETHER: The 90s must really be over, because Veruca Salt is ready for its comeback.

OUR HISTORY WILL BE WHAT WE MAKE IT: For those readers who enjoyed Good Night, And Good Luck and were interested in reading Edward R. Murrow's actual keynote address to the 1958 Radio-Television News Directors Assocation annual convention, which framed the movie, we can do that:

I am frightened by the imbalance, the constant striving to reach the largest possible audience for everything; by the absence of a sustained study of the state of the nation. Heywood Broun once said, "No body politic is healthy until it begins to itch." I would like television to produce some itching pills rather than this endless outpouring of tranquilizers. It can be done. Maybe it won't be, but it could. Let us not shoot the wrong piano player. Do not be deluded into believing that the titular heads of the networks control what appears on their networks. They all have better taste. All are responsible to stockholders, and in my experience all are honorable men. But they must schedule what they can sell in the public market. . . .

We are currently wealthy, fat, comfortable and complacent. We have currently a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude, amuse and insulate us, then television and those who finance it, those who look at it and those who work at it, may see a totally different picture too late.

I do not advocate that we turn television into a 27-inch wailing wall, where longhairs constantly moan about the state of our culture and our defense. But I would just like to see it reflect occasionally the hard, unyielding realities of the world in which we live. . . . This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.

WHAT, IZZY? We do dig Olympic mascots in this forum, and therefore I'm happy to announce that Beijing 2008 has unveiled not one, not two, but five "Friendlies" to serve as mascots for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad:

Designed to express the playful qualities of five little children who form an intimate circle of friends, the Five Friendlies also embody the natural characteristics of four of China's most popular animals -- the Fish, the Panda, the Tibetan Antelope, the Swallow -- and the Olympic Flame.

In China's traditional culture and art, the fish and water designs are symbols of prosperity and harvest. And so Beibei carries the blessing of prosperity. A fish is also a symbol of surplus in Chinese culture, another measure of a good year and a good life. The ornamental lines of the water-wave designs are taken from well-known Chinese paintings of the past. Among the Five Friendlies, Beibei is known to be gentle and pure. Strong in water sports, she reflects the blue Olympic ring.

Each of the Friendlies has a rhyming two-syllable name--a traditional way of expressing affection for children in China. Beibei is the Fish, Jingjing is the Panda, Huanhuan is the Olympic Flame, Yingying is the Tibetan Antelope and Nini is the Swallow.

You can see the super-cuddly-and-not-at-all-indicative-of-any-looming-threat-towards-Taiwan Five Friendlies engaging in all the Olympic disciplines, including a Panthers cheerleader-quality judo match, via this link.

(Also, what are the odds I can get right now on Yao Ming being the final torchbearer?)

WHICH PEOPLE'S CHOICE? Allegedly, "pop culture fans" helped determine the nominations for the upcoming People's Choice Awards. Some nominations are delightful and well-deserved (Cameron Diaz as "Leading Lady"), but mostly, I offer a befuddled, Jon Stewart-esque (and he's not even NOMINATED), "Whaaaa?" Among the inexplicable nominees:

• Sandra Bullock, whose film output this year consisted of a tiny role in Crash and the exerable Miss Congeniality 2 as "Female movie star"
• The Rock as "Male action star"
• That 70s Show as "TV Comedy"
• Fear Factor over TAR in "Reality Show Competition"
• Jennifer Love Hewitt as "Female TV Star."
• Nary a nomination for Lost

I suspect there might be some "pop culture fans" around here that'd have something to say about this.

TELL ME THERE WON'T BE A SPINOFF: This is going to be a sad year for TV viewers, as we are likely to bid "adieu" to a number of great and/or once-great shows--The West Wing, Alias, and Arrested Development are all looking mighty unhealthy at this point. The good news, though? We will not have to endure another season of 7th Heaven, which the WB is mercifully putting to rest at season's end.

SOMEONE FORGOT TO DUST OFF THEIR COPY OF DISORDERLIES: With 50 Cent's new movie now playing in a theater near you, Entertainment Weekly lists the top 10 performances by hip-hop artists in films, completely ignoring the comedic stylings of Markie, Buffy, and Kool, not to mention the acting chops of one Robbie Van Winkle in Cool As Ice.