I FORGOT MY PANTS: For those of you who, for some reason, have had a pressing desire to ride the New York City subway without pants, now you have a reason and opportunity to, as part of ImprovEverywhere's annual "No Pants" event.

LET'S GET THE FIRST ONE FROM THE PRODUCERS OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER: Toss-up -- which reality performer with inexplicable staying power is worse at his craft: AI4's Scott Savol as a singer, or DancingStars' Master P as a dancer?

AS LITIGIOUS AS HE WANTS TO BE: Did Fiddy steal part of the lyrics to "In Da Club" from Luther Campbell? That's what the person who now holds Campbell's copyrights claims. Apparently, the repeated chant of "Go, go, go shorty, it's your birthday" is the problematic portion, which seems like a perfect application of the "scenes a faire" doctrine.

Edit: TMFTML suggests another potential lawsuit against Fiddy.

THINK OF THE HAPPIEST THINGS; IT'S THE SAME AS HAVING WINGS: Eric Berlin chimes in with a list of the most useless items in the SkyMall catalog. Sadly, he left out Thank goodness, he included their solution to one of life's pressing concerns -- if I want to have a coffeetable and an aquarium in my house but don't have a lot of room, what should I do?

ALAS, THE KRAUT KING DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE LIST: According to the folks behind the Q score, the M&M's are our most beloved spokes-creatures, topping the list of the ten most likable creatures, which includes Poppin' Fresh, the Geico Gecko, and Trix Rabbit. Least loved? That distinction belongs to the Poochie-like Maxaroni, who shills for Stouffer's.

HUNKIE COOPER WAS ROBBED: Fear not list fans, I'm still out there looking for lists of note and interest (there's always a post year-end lull). And speaking of lulls, here it is: the Arena Football League's 20 Greatests Players of All-Time. (For those of you too lazy to click on the link, Kurt Warner is No. 12 on the list.)

IT'S A ROCK-A-HULA ROCK-A-HULA ROCK-A-HULA ROCK-A-HULA LUAU LUAU LUAU LUAU! Grease 2 is on the ABC Family Channel tonight at 8. Let there be reproduction.