WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE: I'll be in lovely Toronto Ontario for the next few days engaged primarily in work-related program activities. If you happen to be attending the conference I'm attending or if you know of anything I should make sure to do or see while up there, let me know.

BIG NUMBERS INCLUDE "WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH," "THAT'S MY NAME," AND "PUT ME ON THE BOARD:" I'm really not making this one up--the first ever David Mamet musical will make its debut next year in California. A Waitress in Yellowstone "follows the story of the title service worker who, on the eve of her trip to the national park to celebrate her son's 10th birthday, discovers a Congressman stealing her tips and reports him to the police."

THE COUNTRY'S MOST INFLUENTIAL INDUSTRY HAS NOT THROWN IN THE TOWEL ON ANY ENDEAVOR THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE COURTING OF TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BOYS: Almost two weeks ahead of upfronts, NBC has announced that Aaron Sorkin's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" will be part of the 2006-07 primetime lineup.

BOBBLEHEAD JOE OR DWIGHT FART SCHRUTE, SECURITY RISK: I don't know that tonight's episode of The Office made "The Leap" as much as the desire to have a "big" season finale next week meant that certain conflicts, indeed, had to be taken from Toby's file and aired out. In a way, it led to a show more vicious than anything one generally sees on Survivor.

One note about next week, which I'll put in spoiler-text: you would have assumed that the season would end with Pam and Roy's wedding, but clearly, that's not the case based on the preview. Which makes a certain line in tonight's episode that much more of a gut-punch, as well as the wordless shot at the end.

Just one more episode? Damn.

AT THIS POINT, THEY MIGHT AS WELL CALL THAT THING A 'TERRY': Phrases we never need to hear again on Survivor: "Immunity, back up for grabs." "Y'all want to know what you're playing for?" "I'll go tally the votes. Once the votes have been read, the decision is final; the person voted off will have to leave the tribal council area immediately." "Terry wins immunity again!"

I just hope Cirie knows what she's doing. It's great to think about F2 pairings, but first, you have to get there.

MINUTES OF THE COMMITTEE ON IMPROVING EVERYBODY'S LIVES IN MINOR AND FREQUENTLY IMPERCEPTIBLE WAYS:

Unanimously approved: Every fiftieth song played over the sound system in a mall, food court, or casual-dining restaurant shall be a song recorded by ELO.

TALK TO PERSEPHONE: As promised, here's the story explaining (sort of) The Lost Experience, the first clue for which was provided in that Hanso Foundation commercial last night.

For anyone who's interested, feel free to use the comments to discuss.