SURPASSING JUDD WINICK: Despite a seriously miscast Rachel Bilson (sweetie, biting your lip does not make an acting performance), The Last Kiss is one of the best films I've seen this year. Sadly, I expect it will find difficulty finding an audience, as it's not the wacky romantic comedy that the ads make it out to be--this is a movie veritably drenched in sorrow and anger, especially given that an epilogue scene was shot and cut (according to this interview) which would have changed things dramatically--and Zach Braff's character is not exactly likable. But the biggest revelation in the film in Jacinda Barrett--previously best known for being "the model on the boringest season of The Real World," and roles like "plucky single mother" in Poseidon, "hot lesbian" in Bridget Jones 2, and "long-suffering spouse of firefighter" in Ladder 49, got called in at the last minute to replace Rachel McAdams, and does the part most proud, thus taking over from Winick and Eric Nies the title of "most successful Real World alumnus."

BOB NEWHART WOULD BE PROUD: Also referenced in today's Times, Emperor Palpatine takes a phone call from Darth Vader on "Robot Chicken". And, while we're at it, "Robot Chicken" takes on Harry Potter and the monster Pubertus.

THE GREY LADY ERRS: There is so much to recommend in this weekend's Times, until they piss it all away with a spoiler so awful that all responsibile should be drawn, quartered, decapitated and/or placed on indefinite leave, and perhaps all four.

The good: inside Guantánamo with Tim Golden, a fantastic profile of director Michael Gondry by the normally cynical Lynn Hirschberg, TNR's Lee Siegel waxing idiotically again about bloggers and an insightful piece on ventriloquist Jay Johnson, set to take Broadway by storm. Add in a whimsical piece on Bronx cartography, and you've got yourself a Saturday.

Then there's a minor South Park error in an overview of contemporary satire --"Cartman, the obese, morally repugnant child" did not eat the parents of a kid he disliked. As everyone who has enjoyed Scott Tenorman Must Die (perhaps my favorite SP episode) knows, Cartman tricks Scott Tenorman into eating his own parents. Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili." Okay, fine.

But then, oh Lord, for this I wish Lacuna was still in business: in a profile of tv producer Ben Silverman that leads the Arts & Leisure section -- to which I will not link, so vile is this information -- they let slip what happens to Pam and Jim on The Office. Oh no, they didn't? Yes, they did. We have waited and wondered since May 11, 2006 when "Casino Night" first aired, and with just five days to go, boom!, they ruin the suspense. Ruin it. Do not read this article. I cannot stress this enough. I am livid.

DUBBA-DUBBA-DUBBA-BYE: After UPN disappeared not with a bang but a whimper a few weeks ago to make way for MyNetworkTV (it's like Myspace, except without the porn, and on television!), the WB departs Sunday night with something actually classy--they're repeating the pilots of four of their best known shows (Buffy, Angel, Felicity, and Dawson's Creek), mixed with old "image campaigns" and reminders. Here's something worth discussing--what's the WB's most endearing contribution to culture?--some suggestions:

• Ryan Murphy, now creator of Nip/Tuck and Running With Scissors, got his start with the WB's Popular.
• J.J. Abrams got his big break with Felicity.
• Quietly, short-lived dramedy Jack & Jill marked first major media exposure for Amanda Peet and Sarah Paulson, and first major media exposure with clothes on for Jamie Pressly.
• Joss Whedon and the rest of the folks involved with Buffy.
• Greg Berlanti, who first led Dawson's Creek to its brief period of not sucking, and then created Everwood and Jack and Bobby.
• Popstars, which led to the Pussycat Dolls.
• An outlet for African-American comics--in particular Steve Harvey, Jamie Foxx, and the Wayans Bros.

AN EPISODE OF LOVE BOAT '68? Former Brat Packer and Mighty Duck Emilio Estevez wanted to write/direct a movie about RFK's assasination and invited such stars as Anthony Hopkins, Ashton Kutcher, Harry Belafonte, Laurence Fishburne, Christian Slater, William H. Macy, Lindsay Lohan, Pacey, Rollergirl and his dad to join in. The results were not pretty, according to many critics:

"Bobby" is reasonably well-directed but scripted with painful obviousness. It stands to impress only the politically naive and hardened lovers of camp, the latter of whom will delight in the endlessly bizarre casting (Ashton Kutcher as a hippie acid dealer) and the chance to see Demi Moore (as a drunken lounge singer) in a battle-of-the-titans acting match with Sharon Stone (as the hotel's salon stylist).

The trades, however, liked it.

WE RAISE OUR VOICES IN ONE GREAT CHORUS, JUST TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND: So, who are the most loyal pro football fans in all the land? By weighing such factors as attendance (volume, percentage of capacity and consistency) and the degree of difficulty of supporting a team (winning percentage, local population and income, December weather), the statheads have an answer.

WHERE'S MY QUAD-TUNER HD? For those of us without a dual tuner TiVo or DVR, premiere week begins a series of nasty decisions about what gets priority. So what are the challenging timeslots for you? Mine are:

• Sundays 8 PM--Amazing Race 10 vs. The Simpsons--I go with TAR because I know Fox will pick up the reruns either in the summer or during the endless rounds of syndication, while TAR is tougher to pick up (especially without missing an episode) later in the game.
• Sundays 10 PM--Brothers AND Sisters vs. Without A Trace vs. The Wire--I'm going with Brothers AND Sisters for the moment because it seems like a trainwreck not to be missed, but that could actually get good. Without A Trace can be picked up non-sequentially in reruns, and The Wire (which I know I oughta be watching), repeats ad infinitum.
• Tuesdays 8 PM--Dancing With The Stars vs. House vs. Friday Night Lights vs. Gilmore Girls--The head spins. I'm going with Gilmore Girls, at least until we've got an idea how the Klum-stalker is working out, but may be persuaded to switch. (Thankfully, Hizzy moves to 9 PM in October, where I'm far more free, though Veronica Mars is tempting--I'd love Hizzy vs. Veronica.)
• Wednesdays 8 PM--Dancing With The Stars vs. Jericho vs. 30 Rock/Twenty Good Years vs. America's Next Top Model--If 30 Rock had a better timeslot companion (paging Dr. Dorian? Dr. John Dorian?), this'd be a walkover, but Jericho could quickly enthrall me, and the reality programming here certainly has its fans hereabouts.
• Thursdays 8 PM--Survivor: Politically Incorrect vs. Earl/Office vs. Ugly Betty--I hope Ugly Betty gets repeated in another timeslot (say Fridays, rather than Home Videos repeats?), because I'd like to give it a shot, but the fine folks at Dunder Mifflin win the slot for me.

Also, my ballsy schedule move of the day? If NBC gets a breakout drama hit this fall (particularly one of the Monday shows or Friday Night Lights), why not move it against Desperate Housewives, which needs to get better and funnier right quick or be susceptible to losing a bunch of its audience?