CLAP YOUR HANDS EVERYBODY, AND EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS: In a decision whose wisdom seems so unlike Hollywood, Fox Atomic has shut down production on its planned Revenge of the Nerds remake because it wasn't very good.

FLINTSTONIAN EXECUTION: I don't mean to tread on Phil's turf, but in this week's Top Chef, Anthony Bourdain may have just stolen this year's ALOTT5MA Award for Reality Host/Judge of the Year from Miss Tyra, Tim Gunn and Jason Newsted. It was that good. Just vicious, but they deserved it, and in a really entertaining way.

DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT SOMETHING CHANGED ON NOVEMBER 7, 2006: John Fogerty doing the halftime show at the annual Detroit Thanksgiving game, closing the set with "Fortunate Son".

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. This is an open thread.

OH, HONEY, YOU MAKE ME SO ASHAMED OF YOU: While picking up the gauntlet Adam recently threw down -- identify a good Billy Squier song that's not "the Stroke" (here and here, by the way; great ridiculous tight-panted sex pop rock) -- YouTube also gave me the unexpected gift of a 1950s anti-self-satisfaction film, set to Squier's masturpiece, which I share with you.

WHAT ABOUT THE EPISODE OF BARNEY MILLER WHERE WOJO AND FISH HAVE THEIR FAMOUS STUFFING COOK-OFF? The Onion takes a look at the 17-best Thanksgiving-themed TV moments, a list where the No. 17 choice finishes out in front of the field like Secretariat at the Belmont Stakes.

(Note: In my original post, I assumed the list was a countdown. No. 17, the WKRP episode, is the Citizen Kane of Thanksgiving episodes.)

YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT WATER LANDINGS?: Courtesy of my friend (and quite funny occasional McSwy's contributor) (but not blogger) Mike Ward:

The Pre-Meal Thanksgiving Safety Demonstration

Welcome to this Thanksgiving meal, with non-stop service from passive aggression to outright yelling. This afternoon's meal will last approximately two hours and 14 minutes. At this time, please direct your attention to the head of the table for the pre-meal safety demonstration.

Emergency exits are located at the door into the kitchen and through the living room into the front hall. Please take a moment to locate the exit nearest you.

When the meal begins to take off, you must fasten your lips shut. To do so, insert an alcoholic beverage into a glass, and pull it to your lips for a long swig. We suggest that you keep your beverage glass full throughout the meal, as we may experience turbulence.

In the event of a sudden pressurization of the dining room's atmosphere, various members of the family may drop insults that they don't actually mean. Remain calm. Pull the defensive psychological mask that you have constructed over your face and breathe normally. Insults will continue to flow even after the mask is in place.

In the event of water flowing from eyelids, please remember that your Walgreen's Thanksgiving print paper napkin can be used as a tear-soaking device.

This is a non-smoking meal. Tampering with, disabling, or destroying the smoke detectors located in the bathroom is an offense punishable by substantial yelling and cursing.

At this time we ask that you turn off all cell phones, pagers, and other electronic devices. Please make sure that you have stowed away all painful memories and disappointments in preparation for the meal.

For complete information on meal safety procedures, please review the email provided to you by your cousin Joe detailing which family members are not talking to which other family members and which subjects are prohibited.

Thank you for choosing this side of the family for your Thanksgiving meal. At this time, you may sit back, relax, and enjoy the fight.

TRYPTOPHAMANIA: I believe I've posted this in years past, but if anyone still wasn't sure how to prepare their turkeys on Thanksgiving, I recommend without hesitation this November 1999 recipe from Bon Appétit for Sage-Roasted Turkey with Caramelized Onions and Sage Gravy. The onion-sage gravy is simply out of this world.

Any recipes or tips you'd like to share? Any plans to deep-fry? Let us know.