WHAT A WAY TO MAKE A LIVIN': I'm not a particularly big fan of Dolly Parton generally or of 9 to 5 in particular, but Allison Janney in a Broadway musical version of 9 to 5 (alongside Bebe Neuwirth and Marc Kudisch)? That'd sell me a ticket.

ANOTHER SET OF JERSEY BOYS: Sure, most TV sets in these parts will be tuned to the Sopranos finale on Sunday night, but there's also another show that features award-winning sopranos airing then--the Tony Awards. This year's awards are unusual in two ways. First, the show is going completely hostless, instead depending solely on presenters and musical numbers to move the show along. Second, unlike most years, there hasn't been a show that's been both a critical and a commercial phenomenon this year. Indeed, critical favorites this year like Journey's End and Company have limped along slowly bleeding money, with other critical favorites like Spring Awakening and Grey Gardens managing to pull out adequate numbers, but barely making any money. Even "sure things" Mary Poppins and The Year Of Magical Thinking wound up being less than the mega-hits that were probably anticipated, and there were a few complete misses in Deuce and The Pirate Queen.

That makes this year's awards interesting, because there's not a single show that looks like it has "sweep potential" (at least in the musical categories--in the play category, Tom Stoppard's nine hour epic Coast of Utopia became a substantial snob hit, and is likely to pick up the tech and direction awards, as well as the big "Best Play" award, and the complete raves for commercial bomb Journey's End will probably get it the revival award). Ultimately, my guess is that you're going to see one of the more spread-out sets of Tonys in a long time, with Grey Gardens getting Actress, Featured Actress, and Book, Spring Awakening getting Director, Featured Actor, Score, and Musical, Poppins getting most of the technical awards (flying nanny is worth something), and Company getting Best Actor and probably revival.

Closest race this year? Leading actress in a play, which pits the beloved Angela Lansbury and Vanessa Redgrave (both of whom garnered mixed-to-negative reviews) against Brit Eve Best and Julie White. White's performance was a force of nature, but it'll be interesting if she can pull out a win for a comedy that closed in February.

BORK BORK BORK BORK: Things I probably shouldn't find funny, but I do--Robert H. Bork, personal injury plaintiff. I assume the complaint is wholly economically efficient.

Vaguely related--Robot Chicken + Swedish Chef.

ARISE! YE SONS OF THE BAYMEN'S CLAN. PUT ON YOUR ARMOURS, CLEAR THE LAND! DRIVE BACK THE TYRANTS LET DESPOTS FLEE! LAND OF THE FREE BY THE CARIB SEA: Avast! I didn't get to watch Pirate Master last night, nor is it on the TiVo. But if you did, comment away.

e.t.a. by Adam: YAAR! I did watch the show, and per the pirate tradition, I'm boarding this post and taking over.

Here's what's awesome about the show: the costumes. The over-the-topness of all the pirate stuff, like the actual serving of gruel. That there's not much else to watch this summer.

Here's what's not awesome about the show: I feel like there's a level of producers' intervention that's above and beyond what we normally expect from Mark Burnett shows (especially in the post-Stacey Stillman era) which we're not seeing -- such as the captain's decision to assign roles, and his general decision to be a douchebag insofar as how he's treating the rest of the crew. Like, did he really believed the deck needed swabbing?

So, here's my question: assuming the captain remains stingy with the doubloons, what incentive is there for the members of his crew to remain loyal to him during challenges, as opposed to sabotaging their chances and making a preemptive deal with a captain-in-waiting on the other crew?

KENNY WASN'T LIKE THE OTHER KIDS: Having recently upgraded my home theatre speaker system so I can really watch TV and DVD's in 5.1 and because my DVD player kept on breaking, I can say that despite the fact that it took nearly two hours to get it largely programmed, the Logitech Harmony 659 is an amazing, amazing thing, basically allowing me to go from four remotes down to one and be able to choose what input on my TV I want to watch with immediate button presses. Highly recommended for those who want fewer buttons to press.

Also good? About 2/3 of tonight's Studio 60--even the Matt/Harriet material worked (mostly), Nate Corddry has become an impressive dramatic actor, and we're not beaten over the head with the Aaron Sorkin=Matt Albie=Genius property (heck, Matt is depicted as being wrong about something other than his drug use). Sure, the Danny/Jordan plotline didn't really work or make sense, but that's OK.

Exclusive! Grey's Fires Isaiah Washington - Ausiello Report | TVGuide.com

A-X-E-D: ABC has confirmed that Isaiah Washington will not be returning to Grey's Anatomy in the fall.

WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN SMASH MOUTH: We have a few things at ALOTT5MA with which all the bloggers agree, and I think one of them is that People Need To Hear More Leonard Cohen Songs. That said, just imagining Bon Jovi covering "Hallelujah" at a new MTV Unplugged taping fills me with dread.

You know what else Bon Jovi-related fills me with dread? Keltner or not, they're getting into the Rock Hall, right?