BETTER THAN KRAFT DINNER: If I had a million dollars, I'd certainly consider investing in Gordon: A Barenaked Musical, the currently in development musical with an original book based on the songs of Barenaked Ladies. (Quasi-related--while at the movies tonight, I saw the trailer for Hamlet 2, which looks like it may be worth seeing just to hear the entirety of "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus.")

SPANISH INFANTAS TRIUMPHANT ONCE AGAIN: I'm not sure how many people are on the email distribution list to be informed on the day the Social Security Administration posts the prior year's baby name data, but you can be assured that I am one of them. And thus I am able to inform you that the 2007 name data was posted this week.

Not a lot of news coming out of the top ten for either girls' or boys' names -- the only name not appearing in last year's top ten is Elizabeth, up from #11, pushing out Samantha. Isabella has moved from #4 to #2, squeezing apart the Emily/Emma combo that has been on top for the last four years. Madison skidded a bit to #5 after seven consecutive years as #2 or #3. Boys' names are as boring as ever -- the big news there is that Ethan has supplanted Joshua as #3, and Matthew plummeted (in top ten boys' name terms, anyway) from #5 to #9. Yaaawn.

But there are two big name ascension stories for 2007, one on each side of the aisle: Addison and Jayden. Jayden is this year's #18 name, up from #49 in 2006 and #54 in 2005. Over 15,000 boys were named Jayden last year, versus 9550 the year before. As for Addison, Shonda's red-haired wonder hit #11 in 2007, from =#28 in 2006 and #106 in 2005 -- meaning that the 11,823 little Addisons last year represent nearly a quadrupling of the 3014 girls given the name in 2005. (This increase far outweighs the decline in Madisons over that two year period, incidentally.)

We also have a bunch of newcomer names to the top #1000 list. Most prominently, although unsurprisingly, Miley is this year's #278 name, up from nowheresville ever before.

I haven't fully parsed the list yet, and I'm sure there are no shortage of interesting tidbits to be unearthed. Feel free to share as you notice them.

BRILLIANT (?) BUT....: With upfronts for every non-NBC network this coming week, we'll be getting dribs and drabs of pickup and scheduling news all through the week, but the fates of three "bubble shows" have been revealed. Cancelled? Somewhat surprisingly, the execrable Back To You will not return to Fox's schedule (though Brad Garrett vehicle 'Til Death will return for a third season). In sadder news, the CW will cancel Aliens in America, which proved both surprisingly funny and surprisingly tender (with a very funny Rent parody at one point) as a casualty of its selling off its Sunday programming block, but is now saying that the (much-improved in recent weeks) Reaper is 80% for renewal. No word yet on any other "bubble" programming, with those of most interest to ALOTT5MA viewers likely being HIMYM (while a pickup has widely been reported to be a foregone conclusion, no formal announcement has been made), Boston Legal (which they may just fire everyone save Spader and Shatner from again, since they seem to be interchangeable), and Eli Stone.

Update: Also done? New Amsterdam. Looking like they're back? Eli Stone and (most surprisingly) Miss Guided. Picked up to series? New J.J. Abrams/Joshua Jackson series Fringe.

Update Once More: Boston Legal back, but apparently with a regular cast of just Spader/Shatner/Bergen (if this ends the interminable Clarence plotline, I'm all for it), and Joss Whedon/Eliza Dushku project Dollhouse picked up for midseason.

Yet Again: Eli Stone officially picked up for short season of 13 new episodes.

DR. SPACEMAN, WHEN THEY CHECK MY DNA, WILL THEY TELL ME WHAT DISEASES I MIGHT GET, OR HELP ME REMEMBER MY ATM PIN CODE? When withdrawing cash from an ATM, why are you asked to input the number of cents? These machines don't dispense coins, after all. For that matter, why do you have to type in the units digit for the number of dollars? Machines don't dispense ones or fives, so why not just give us a template like "$ --0.00" and spare us those extra three keystrokes?

For that matter, as a friend once suggested to me, shouldn't the machine already know the language in which you'd prefer to transact business? Presumably, if English were not your preferred language you'd be receiving your bank statements in some other tongue; moreover, after years of transactions in which you've selected English every time, what are the chances you'd be changing your mind now? [Side question: do you ever select an alternate language just for the challenge?]

INSTRUCTIONS (PARTIAL):

Walk left
Stand right

Leading edge of roll on outside

Blades down (unloader safety)
Tines, heads down (unloader questionable hygiene)
Pre-rinse sticky substances
Hand-wash good knives (oxidation)
Hand-wash mixing bowls (space)

Top-sheet seams down

Larger denominations to smaller denominations from inside of billfold to outside, facing inside

General non-fiction, professional specialty nonfiction, reference, memorabilia, authors known personally, general fiction

Smart quotes on

Down (cheeks)
Down (upper lip)
Down, then up (chin)

Popular music, compilations, soundtracks, children's music, jazz, classical, music in foreign language understood only by spouse

Plane, chop, rip, drill mortises, mill tenons, glue, pin, sand, stain, wax

Squat, approach box, rest bat against leg, adjust glove, extend right arm with bat vertical, adjust sleeve from shoulder, bail out

Rip, mix, burn

PERHAPS I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT RAIN DANCE LAST NIGHT: Why is it that the day you're going to have folks over to grill burgers at your place winds up being the one day of the week that it pours rain and even briefly hails?

GERONIMO JACKSON: Do you know what you need, Mr. Locke? An all-plot, no-romance, almost-no-Jack episode. Guys? Cabin.